Ashes of Lost Love

Agony of life

           The carriage rattled along the seldom used mountain path, the wheels squealing as the journey continued. In it sat a hooded woman, fidgeting with her hands. She glanced nervously out of her window. It was still dark, but she knew that dawn would be approaching at any time.They were now departing Aldpine, which meant they would be arriving in Aelbourne in four hours. The lady chided herself for not being able to sit still for four mere hours when she had endured being cooped up in the carriage for the past three days. In her hands, she clutched a letter. She had read and reread it so many times that she had practically memorised it but she felt tempted to sneak another glimpse of the epistle that had taken her so far from home. She took the slip of paper out of the envelope and held the hastily written message in her trembling fingers.

Wife,

     Our daughter has been sent away from the castle for some misbehaviour.It isn't very serious, and the King has made no mention of banning her from court after her return. There is no need for you to  make an appearance at court. It is highly unlikely the King would punish a child for  a foolish mistake. Remain at home and look after relevant affairs.

    Your Husband,

    Florian

    Yet here she was. Blatantly disobeying her husband's orders. After a day of restless indecision, she had decided to set off  to Aelbourne to gauge the situation for herself and see what she could do for her daughter. Her husband would be displeased, but since when had she started caring about being in his good graces? He had never payed much attention to her, seeing her as more of an ornament than a wife. And for a long time she had complied but she was not ready to put her daughter in danger for the sake of pleasing her dour husband. Her stomach was doing cartwheels as the carriage made another sudden lurch. 

She gripped the letter so tightly that her knuckles turned white and the paper was beginning to crumple. She realised what she was doing and smoothed it out again. A blot of ink at the bottom right corner of the page and again near where he had written 'Wife'. He had evidently written this note in haste, but when he got down to writing it, he was confused as to how he should address her. Calling her 'darling' or 'sweetheart' would have been hypocritical yet calling her by her name would have been overly familiar. So he had played it safe by calling her wife. 

She wondered if he was cognisant of the dull ache seeing the word 'wife' at the top of the letter had caused her and the more acute pain the rest of the letter caused. He knew she liked her letters detailed and being the inconsiderate husband he was, caused her pain and anxiety with his letter he probably wrote out of a sense of duty and obligation rather than any feeling of affection or love for his spouse.

The paper starting cutting into her hand so she held it more loosely.She had left her home after a rushed supper, leaving instructions for her head servant. She had packed her court dresses, a large bag of golden crowns to pay for her passage. She had gone to the stables and found the two stable men who weren't informers of her husband. They had agreed to take her to Aelbourne and they had set off. But what for? She had barely planned her visit to the royal castle. Would she be allowed audience with the monarch? The more worrying question was stealing her sleep eluded her, would she even be let into the castle? She didn't want to have to show her ring  engraved with her lord husband's coat of arms. Her presence would be immediately given away and she knew all too well how quickly servants' idle gossip spread. Before she'd even reach the King's solar, her husband would be in front of her, ready to send her home with an armed guard to ensure she stayed there.

      She shivered as a chilly gust of wind blew through the window. It ruffled her dark hood and sent the cold right into her skin, where it settled with all her other emotions. She had never thought she would return to the capital. For this was not going to be her first time at court. It had been years since she had wandered the corridors of Raylea Castle or shared bread and wine with the royals themselves but she remembered her royal etiquette lessons like they were just yesterday. It felt like decades ago when she had been the cynosure of every ball and dinner party when it was really only twelve years ago. She smiled a bittersweet smile to herself as she recalled happier days. The sweet memories of the past cajoled her into the warm embrace of  sleep.