The Greatest Plan

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"Thanks, uh, Clem" Dib thanked as his father's clone poured a spoonful of pudding in his cereal. At least the pudding he made was getting better. Not exactly good, just better than before. His sister, Gaz, didn't even seem to care that much, she was too busy playing video games to pay attention to what she was eating.

"Breakfast is the most science-y meal of the day!" Clembrane replied excitedly before going to the living room and sitting on the couch.

"You really don't think any of this is weird?" Dib asked his father, who was reading a newspaper. "It's been months, how can you still not believe me?"

The scientist scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Well, the hit I took was stronger than I thought."

The boy looked at his sister, hoping she'd give him some kind of support.

"Don't look at me. It's not like I care whether or not he believes we went through an almost-end-of-the-world. We fixed it, why bother?".

Dib sighed in disappointment and looked back at his cereal. After all that happened, how could people still not believe him? The whole world saw it, but they still treated him like he was some kind of lunatic. The news literally announced that everything had been a hallucination caused by the bracelets. How stupid can humanity be?

But what worried him the most was Zim. The alien was really stupid, but he managed to take advantage of him and almost destroyed the whole planet. Maybe he was getting smarter, and that was dangerous. What kind of evil plan could he make next?

With so many questions, Dib eventually lost his appetite. That and the fact that his breakfast was covered with Clem's terrible pudding.

-

"GIR!" The irken's voice echoed throughout the house. He had been screaming for his servant robot for over half an hour, but there was still no answer. So, against his wil,l he was forced to come up from his underground base to the house. Stepping into the living room, he saw GIR crying outrageously as he stuffed himself with nachos while watching a movie.

"GIR" he repeated "What are you doing? I called you over fifty times! I haven't heard from The Tallest in months, so when they finally call I want to surprise them with my newest awesome plan!"

"Ooh!" And what is it? What is it?? What is iiit???" GIR asked, stopping to cry instantly and jumping excitedly.

"Well…" Zim started to speak, but as soon as he opened his mouth he realized something: he didn't have a plan.

His last and brightest plan had once again been stopped by the human Dib, and since then he couldn't think of anything. Besides, after the Florpus incident, he spent most of his time trying to contact the Tallest, unsuccessfully. 

After many attempts and a long time pondering about it, he came to the conclusion that it was all a test. They certainly expected him to come up with such a stupendously great plan that it would make him the most prestigious invader ever, but for that to happen, he had to do it all by himself, without the help of their wise advices. 

 “Um… Before I put my plan into action, I need to find a way to stop Dib and the rest of his gang from ruining everything again."

"Why don't you turn him into a chair?" Suggested the robot.

"No, GIR. He may be stupid, but he wouldn't fall for the same trick twice."

"Then turn him into a toilet, like you!"

"I WAS NOT A TOILET!" Zim shouted before breathing in, trying to calm himself down. "GIR, this is serious. This may be my chance to do something so amazing that even the Tallest will adore me, maybe even make me a great leader like them! I cannot fail. Not this time."

"Ooooooh," GIR exclaimed in an amazed tone. Zim looked at him, studying his reaction.

"You didn't understand a word I just said, did you?"

GIR shook his head no.

The irken sighed.

"Anyway, we have no time to waste. What could keep him busy enough to not interfere with my schemes?"

"Oh! I have an idea!"

"If it involves pizza again, I swear I'll drive to the nearest black hole and leave you there."

“Aw… Oh! Oh! I have another one!

"Ugh... Fine, GIR. What is your idea?"

"What if you became his friend? Friends don't fight!"

"This is completely insane!" Dib is my archenemy, there's no way we're going to be friends! Then no. Never. Not in a bazillion years.

The robot's eyes filled with tears and he threw himself to the ground crying like a spoiled child.

"Urgh…" Zim grunted in annoyance. But deep down he was considering the idea.

His last experience with human friendship had been extremely unpleasant. Even so, it made some sense. People were stupid enough to do everything for another person without expecting anything in return.

It was strange to admit, but GIR was right. If he won Dib's friendship, he'd have him at his feet. He wouln't have the courage to interfere with his beloved friend's dreams.

"Congratulations, GIR. That's a great idea."

"It is?" GIR stared at him in confusion, slowly stopping to cry.

"Certainly. Maybe you're not that stupid after all. If you continue like this, I might even name you my right-hand man when I become a great lead-" Zim was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

GIR got up and ran to the door.

"The pizza guy!"

Zim rolled his eyes, but he felt great, more alive than ever.

He finally had a plan. No, not just a plan, but the greatest plan of all.

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