The Lost Ones | Choni

Hey guys!

*This is on both of my stories*
Hey, loves! Long time no see! I'm sorry for being gone so long but my schools creative writing class kept me very busy. It's now changing to Literature on Film for this upcoming semester so hopefully I'll be able to write more for my stories, which leads me to some questions.

1.) I've improved a lot during this semester and I'd like to implement some things into my writing. Things like 'show don't tell', messing with my dialogue tags and such. Those things will be done and you will probably notice that shift. My question for you on this is how I set up my paragraphs.

Here's how I used to set them up:
Principal Weatherbee went back onstage after Antoinette finished speaking and addressed us again. "Okay everyone, now that the presentation is over and we have 30 minutes left in the period, Archie, Betty, Reggie, and Antoinette will be showing you around. Before we do that I'll give you all 5 minutes to go to the back wall and find your second period class that you are to go to after the tour, and anyone who wants club and sport information can come get it from Reggie and Antoinette." He explained. "Now go on."

We all got up and started moving around. Jellybean ran over to me once I got out of the row I was in.

"Hey, Fangs and Sweet Pea are going to go take pictures of our classes and they want us to grab flyers for them." She said.

"Okay cool!" I smiled back and we made our way to the stage. There was already a small line and it moved fast since it was just picking up a paper. We got to Antoinette and she handed us each a flyer.

Here's the right way to do it that I'm considering switching to:
Principal Weatherbee went back onstage after Antoinette finished speaking and addressed us again.
"Okay everyone, now that the presentation is over and we have 30 minutes left in the period, Archie, Betty, Reggie, and Antoinette will be showing you around. Before we do that I'll give you all 5 minutes to go to the back wall and find your second period class that you are to go to after the tour, and anyone who wants club and sport information can come get it from Reggie and Antoinette." He explained. "Now go on."
We all got up and started moving around. Jellybean ran over to me once I got out of the row I was in.
"Hey, Fangs and Sweet Pea are going to go take pictures of our classes and they want us to grab flyers for them." She said.
"Okay cool!" I smiled back and we made our way to the stage.
There was already a small line and it moved fast since it was just picking up a paper. We got to Antoinette and she handed us each a flyer.

So basically the first one is where the paragraphs are separated by a blank line and the second is all strung together with an indentation to separate the paragraphs. The first one is probably easier to read though but I'll let this be your call. 😂

2.) which story would you like me to work on posting first? I have a lot of good stuff planned for both but I know not everyone reads both and some people do but prefer one over the other. So again... your call.

That's all for now! I hope you guys respond quick so I can get to work on writing! 😂
— Lily 💕