Sexual fantasy (One Shots)

Fantasies come true

You ever thought about doing something wrong, yet the thought felt right? Those have been a collection of my thoughts for the past week, pacing back and forth mentally to try and justify my sneaky and morally questioning behavior. Let me start from the beginning, my boyfriend and I have been off and on for the past 5 years, I'm so in love, blah blah blah. The thing is, I don't know when it happened, but the spark has dissipated into thin air. I love him so much, but also everything he does annoys me /so/ much, I don't even know how to begin to explain it. One night, my girlfriend and I were having a 'much needed girls' night in', I like to call them 'adult rejuvenation' to still maintain my dignity as a grown up.

While sipping on wine and dishing out the statuses of our current relationships, jobs, and overall wellbeing, my bestie since high school, Amanda, mentioned a few dating sites she'd been experimenting on, shock was written all over my face as my jaws dropped. "What?" Her words rolled off her tongue in a 'I feel judged' kind of way. "Don't act like you've never thought about skimming through your options. There are like a million hot guys on that site." She went on to add. "Pft. Me? A dating site?" I roll my eyes to emphasize how ridiculous her assumption sounded. "I prefer to meet people the old-fashioned way, you know that." I bring my glass to my mouth to collect a sip of it's contents, but her words were marinating in my head and I hated that.

Why am I actually contemplating this silly idea? /I/ have a boyfriend, which I know my friends and family aren't too fond of, but even considering all factors of our relationship, I could never hurt someone in that way, let alone a man whom I've spend such a significant amount of my life with. "Anyways.." I trail off, circling fingertips around the rim of my glass, hoping to steer the conversation elsewhere. Amanda shot me a pointed look as if she could damn near read my mind, a sigh passes through her almost pursed lips. "I'm sorry, but you can do better." She states, shamelessly. "Yeah, well when you've been with a person for so long, they kind of become a part of you." And, he was a part of me, even through the tears, the pain, the anger, the fights, the confusion, I still felt incomplete when away from him, like a part of me were missing. "But, I don't expect you to understand that."

My words come off cold, I know that now that they've exited my mouth. "Mm, okay." My friend mumbles almost in defeat and I inwardly expell a sigh of relief. Thank God that's over. A few nights have passed since my friend and I hung out, I find my stare fixated on a shut laptop at the foot of my bed. Her words echoed throughout my head "Don't act like you've never thought about skimming through your options". I have. Trust me, I have, but I've never nor did I think I'd ever have the balls to actually act on it. Fingers curl around my laptop, luring the device into my lap, I search in the google engine dating sites until one that catches my eye pops up. My boyfriend works graveyard, 12-12. It gets lonely, but the time away from him isn't so bad, and it gives me time to do things that I shouldn't which is...bad. Or maybe I'm overthinking this, I don't know. Brain, please turn off. Digits click the profile of a "Brian Welks", he's tanned skin, hazel eyes, if I had to guess, I'd say about 6"2, perfectly shaped pink lips that aren't too small nor too big, just the sight of them make me wonder too many perverted things.

My palm hovers over the mouse for a few seconds before I click the message option on the site. "Hi." As the words appear as sent on the screen, I almost cringe at the awkward casual vibe of my first response. In my defense, I haven't been single for five years, what the hell do I know about flirting? I haven't flirted with my boyfriend since the beginning of our relationship, and now that I've come to that realization, it's actually quite sad. A ding rings out from my laptop, indicating a response has been typed. Green hues find the screen, reading "Hi, let's fuck". I was apalled. Is this really how guys pick up on girls nowadays? If that's the case then I'm glad to be romantically unavailable to this modern society of horn dogs. I went on to reply, "Forward. I like that." Honestly, I can't even take this site seriously, I now understand why people go on here either to cheat or have one night stands. "Send me the address?" I read over the contents of the message, teeth claiming lower lip in thought, gaze traveling over my empty bedroom.