the roommate ；xu minghao

seventeen

I got up and the cold parquet sent a chill down my spine, goosebumps forming on both my arms.

I hugged myself trying to find some warmth as I stepped towards the door that leaded to the hallway connected to the living room.

Those hand prints that were glowing blue around my room didn't seem too smudged, but more like he used the furniture as a support not to fall, since some traces were glowing more than others in some spots.

The door cracked as I pushed it open, following the strange trail on the floor until I stopped in the living room with my mind frozen.

Minghao was sitting on the round carpet, hugging his body that was still glowing blue, with his eyes closed and hair covering them.

"Minghao...?". I murmured in the silence but no response came from him.

I slowly walked up to him and sat down in front of him with a worried expression. I tried to touch his arm but then remembered: I couldn't. "Ehy, are you okay?". I asked tilting my head to peer in his now opened dark eyes.

With his head hung low, he slowly sat straight, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ears. He seemed confused, panicked, sad as his fingers tortured his light silk shirt.

I opened my mouth to speak again but he was faster this time. "I'm fine. Just a little... moved. Seeing all my life before my eyes is a lot.". His voice trailed off in a soft whisper when his lips curled up in a little smile, his eyes watering a tiny bit and short after tears spilled from them hitting the thin air.

And it was in that moment that my arms moved on their own and tried to wrap around his slim body, but then, just ended floating around his figure, pretending his shoulder gave some support. I adjusted them as if I was really hugging him tightly, my head next to his and our bodies so close.

I couldn't bare seeing him like that, his expression filled with saddness. After I saw a few of his memories, even if blurried, I knew he needed support, he needed to feel wanted and loved by someone, I felt his emotions in my heart and I couldn't just let it go.

After a minute, his transparent arms wrapped around me, trying to embrace my waist, his head on my shoulder.

Strangely, I could feel the air changed in the areas where his body was touching mind, and I felt that in that moment I could really help him, we trusted each others enough to open up and live like this: me with a ghost and him with a living person. Wasn't that crazy?

"Thank you.". He said as we let go and look in each others' eyes. We immediately turned away in embarrassment after realizing what just happened, my cheeks heating up as I thought how careless I had been.

"U-Uhm...". I tried to change the topic. "I saw a few of your memories... but I couldn't find anything relevant that could help us, beside you mother's illness..". I said hoping I didn't touch a sensitive subject for him.

His figure wasn't glowing blue anymore but his cheeks were red, probably copying mines. "O-Oh yeah, her body wasn't that healthy and it soon started to gave out when I was little; I didn't spend much time with her since she stayed at the hospital must of the time.". He said and I nodded.

"I think she would be proud to see what her son has achieved.". I added smiling and he did too, a sigh escaping his lips. "Have you perhaps seen anything that could help us?". I added.

"Mmmh... not really, I saw everything of my childhood and when I was older but one thing doesn't add up, not that I think about it.". His index finger scratched his cheek. "I mean, I already knew it but still I find it confusing.". He added as his eyes wandered in a distant memory.

"Since I was a kid my father would always try to spoil me with expensive objects or clothes, but then when I showed any interest not related to his business he suddendly became distant and stern, he would scold me in a second even for nothing...". He added.

I remembered the last conversation I saw in his memories, the one between his two parents. His father had this look of hatred in his eyes as his sick wife tried to put some sense in him. But maybe I was wrong and I couldn't analyze it well, since all those images weren't clear.

"And my mother always defended me, she would just push me towards my dreams and showed me interesting performances about dance and singing of famous groups. I don't understand why he treated me like that, while with my brother Junseo he acted like the lovingly father and payed for all his hobbies and studies. Father always had a different expression when he looked at me.".

I frowned trying to think of any possible reason, but none made sense and was not logical. I suddendly remembered Seojun, the butler. I had his number and he probably knew something. And then I could ask to Jeonghan, Vernon and Joshua, they also could fill me with useful informations.

I clapped my hands together determined to discover something. "What about this: I'll call and meet up with Seojun, your butler, and ask him a few questions about this. Then maybe ask the guys.". I said pointing at the door as his eyes examined my expression.

"You think they know something?". He asked unsure about my suggestion.

I shrugged. "Why not? They might have something me and you haven't realized yet.".

He sighed in defeat. "Okay then... I'll let you do that.". I smiled as he agreeded but as soon as our eyes locked longer than expected, we looked quickly away.

My heart was beating like crazy as I remembered what happened a few minutes ago. What was this feeling that was bubbling in my chest?

"So-". We both started to say and stopped realizing what was happening.

I got up and he did the same. "Uhm, I'll call Seojun in the morning okay?". I prayed to change the subject rapidly.

He seemed surprised for a second, his hand ruffling his hair. "Oh, yes, sure.". He answered. "You should go to sleep, I've kept you awake for too long now.". He said hinting at the clock and it was indeed late, 2:30 in the morning.

I nodded clasping my hands behind my back. "Yes, I'm going now then. Goodnight Minghao.". I said turning away as he wished me sweet dreams.

I stopped in front of my bedroom's door and, after checking he wasn't looking at me, I let out a long sigh, pouring out all my emotions. Was it right to feel this way towards him? Was it just the feeling of wanting to help him or more than just.... friendship?

As I was going crazy over this trivial puzzle, a voice called out for me and I jolted on my spot, reality hitting me harder that it should have.

"Y/N.". His voice came out low but loud enough for me to hear. "Thank you for before.".

My heart jumped in my throath in an istant. "I-It's nothing, I'm here for you.". I tried to conceal my uneasy emotions with a smile.

He nodded and moved his hand motioning me to go to sleep and I waved back at him, closing the door behind my back.

I took a deep breath to calm down. "I am just going crazy over a little thing, I shouldn't develope anything". I whispered to myself as I moved away all the mirror pieces on my bed, placing them on my desk, before quickly changing into my nightclothes.

I cupped my face and noticed my cheeks were still burning probably from embarrassment. 'Damn it.'. I thought and closed my eyes shut, trying to put a rest to my heart.

It was useless feeling like this.