12. Meet Me In The Woods

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Before we begin I want to say that I am so incredibly sorry that it took me this long to update. I'm not going to make any more excuses, I'm just losing inspiration and interest. I'm not really in the 100 fandom anymore but I love Lexa so much still and for that reason, I am going to continue writing this story. I go into my stories with a beginning and jump to the middle not knowing how to end or how to connect the beginning to the middle and I end up stuck like I am now. I'm getting better and this book is the farthest I've gotten but I'm nowhere close to finishing. What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry and I'm going to do my best to continue even though I lack the inspiration to do so.

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Lexa's P.O.V.
Brought to you by a trash panda

"Arlin, are you listening?" "What? Sorry," I tried not to roll my eyes as I repeated what I had said. I had been working with her for almost a week now and though she was difficult, which wasn't at all surprising, I was hopeful. And hope was something we needed now more than ever. Azgeda soldiers had been seen near northern Trikru borders, and because of this, it was starting to look like war was going to be upon us sooner than we had thought. Arlin spun a location marker from the map we were looking at in her hands. I looked at the empty space she'd taken it from, it was the camp where I was planning to test her powers and prepare her for what was ahead. It was our next step and what I had been explaining to her. She was nervous and worried, maybe even scared, that wasn't hard to tell but I knew she had the strength within her to prevail. I had been avoiding the feelings she had given me but I knew now there was no ignoring them, these next few weeks we would likely be together constantly and something in me said that she was going to change me more than I could ever have thought possible.

Arlin's P.O.V.
Brought to you by a talking horse

I left my meeting with the Commander with my spirits high. Sure, she was taking me to test out my powers in some camp where supposedly, no one was going to bother us but I was going to be spending more time outside and with Artemis and for me that was all that mattered, at least at that moment. The fear didn't set in until later. I was packing what few belongings they had given to me, thinking about my uncertain future like I often did as of late. I suppose it hadn't really hit me until then. I was a part of a war, that much I understood, but something within me hadn't connected all the dots yet but it did then. I was going to witness battles and see things no person should have to; but above all else, I was going to see people die. That scared me but I told myself that it was something that I was going to have to just get used to because this was my life now. I realized something else at that moment too, the side I was to be fighting on was fighting for the same thing I was at the moment. Their freedom. For them, freedom from Azgeda and for me freedom from the Commander. We shared a common goal and knowing that gave me strength and purpose that I hadn't had before.

...

I looked up the trail to see the Commander a few horses ahead of me. She had been by my side only a few minutes before, telling me something about the camp that I hadn't been focusing on hard enough to remember. But when she rode away her foot brushed against mine and I'd be lying if I said her touch didn't spark something in me. "You like her don't you?" Artemis' voice disturbed my thoughts, and I scoffed. "No I don't," "I am not a fool Arlin. I may not be one of your kind but I can sense a connection such as this," I sighed, leaning forward and patting her neck. She was right, just like she usually was. "So what if I do? It's not like anything could ever happen between us. She's the Commander, I'm no one," "You are not no one, everyone is someone," "Whatever," I said, waving my hand. "If anything I'm just going to focus on getting closer to her. Being something even close to friends would make this ordeal a whole lot easier," Artemis huffed, knowing she wasn't going to get any further with me.

It took our small convoy the rest of the day to reach our destination, a large clearing deep in the forest. We set up a small camp that night as it was too late to set up a real one. The Commander and the few people she had brought with her stayed close to the fire but it felt wrong for me to be near them even if this whole thing was for me. I slept with the horses instead. Curling up next to Artemis with a fur pulled close under the stars. It almost felt like I was back home and none of this had ever happened... almost. I couldn't ignore everything that had changed in my life as there was no going back now but I still longed for how things had been even if I had the slightest bit of hope for the future now.

I stared up into the stars, finding peace for the first time in what felt like forever. I watched them, finding constellations and letting my mind create new ones. And the moon, silent and serene it stood alone and yet its light radiated. I felt a bit like the moon now, alone, my light not being my own and so far away from everything I loved. But it had one thing that I didn't have but wanted above all else: freedom.

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