Destructive Healing (Part 2)

Chapter Three

Elijah's POV

"I had to do it, right? I had too."

Jane rubbed my back and nodded, trying to catch my eye. "It was for the best and it's not permanent, her parents know that, right?"

I nodded, feeling empty and hollow. "Yes." I had called them while at a rest stop on the way back. Harlen had been in using the bathroom and I had called Derrick to explain to him what I thought we should do. He was understandably worried at first, thinking I was just trying to find a way out, but after explaining it to him, he agreed with much sorrow.

"Explain to me again why we are doing this," Jeremy said, standing across the room, hands on hips. "Because it seems very cruel."

I swallowed and nodded, feeling exhausted by the whole thing. "Harlen was never going to get better being with me," I told him, meeting his eyes. "She wasn't because she knows that no matter what, I would never ever leave her or give up on her. So...I left her and I am praying that this will help her heal. Sometimes...you have to hit rock bottom before you can pull yourself back out."

"And you giving her the alcohol didn't exactly help this situation,"Jane frowned, pulling her hand back.

Jeremy threw his hands in the air. "What was I supposed to do, Jane? Hmm? If not me, she would have found someone else."

I watched as his expression changed from anger to slight panic. My eyes furrowed in confusion.

"I have to go," he said suddenly before grabbing his keys and leaving.

We watched as he departed with haste.

Jane frowned. "He drove."

I looked over at her as a laugh bubbled up and out.

She smiled, letting out a soft laugh herself. "What?"

I shook my head, laughing. "Everything. I just lost the love of my life because I convinced myself it would be better to let her go so she could essentially destroy herself and rebuild herself rather than putting up with her for the next year or so."
Jane let her smile fall as worry filled her expression. "No, don't do that,Elijah. She won't destroy herself, this is to help her heal. Last time it worked because she let it work for her. She needs something different this time and we all, every single one of us, believe that this is the way to go. We've tried everything else. And," she went on, grabbing my chin and turning my head until my eyes met his. "If you keep convincing yourself that you were just 'putting up with her', it's going to break both your hearts. You weren't 'putting up with her', you were in love with her. You were taking care of her because you loved her."

I felt my eyes fill as her hand fell. "What if she tries killing herself again?" My biggest fear, really. What if she just...destroyed herself? What if I lost her forever?

"Then her parents will pull the plug on this, explain to her that they're the ones that chose this so she doesn't end up resenting you and you two will fall back together because you're soulmates and I, who doesn't believe in love in the slightest, believe in that. Whether it's some cosmic connection or just that you have the same chemical mixture in your blood that she does, you two will end up together in the end and you'll have three little beautiful nuggets running around with beautiful faces and funny laughs and it'll be sickening and I will love it."

I felt a smile touch my lips and I shook my head. "You have a way with words."

"Shutup," she laughed. "Now, are you still writing in that notebook?"

I let out a sigh and nodded. I had never stopped. I had been writing letters to Harlen every night since she was in the hospital. I thought that maybe, when she was okay again, I would give it to her. It had really helped me get through the longer nights. Sometimes I had read the letters to her when she was in the middle of a night terror. It helped calm her down, the sound of my voice, and she never seemed to remember me doing it.