Destructive Healing (Part 2)

Chapter Four

Elijah's POV

"So," I said, my tone very short and sharp.  "She's going to go out and what?  Search for another source?"

Jeremy shrugged.  "That's what it sounded like, yeah."

I watched him for a long time before I stepped forward and slammed my fist into the side of his face.

Jane gasped and stepped back as Jeremy hit the floor.

I shook my hand out and met his eyes.  "If she dies, you die."

"Elijah," Jane snapped, looking over to me as Jeremy rubbed his jaw.  "We know you're angry, but it isn't his fault, he thought he was helping."

I let out a laugh and shook my head.  "Helping?  Jane, you both are delirious.  He fucking gave her pills.  He let her drink.  He didn't tell us that two weeks ago, she might be going out to the streets to find another source for those drugs rather than the safety of this goddamn fucking apartment building.  She leaves the house every night, stays up the whole night and sleeps during the day.  She isn't getting better, she found her source.  Has no one even thought of that yet?"

They both looked at each other before they turned back to me, worry in their eyes.

I nodded.  "Yeah, I didn't think so."  I walked over and grabbed my keys and wallet.

"Elijah, where are you going?"

"To find her."

"Derrick isn't going to answer the door," she called after me.  "He doesn't think you two should reconnect right now.  Why would he let you in or believe anything you say?"

I stopped with my hand on the doorknob, my anger pouring out of every crevice.

"Don't go right now.  Wait."

"Until what, Jane?  Until she overdoses in a fucking alley behind a strip club?"

Jeremy walked up behind her, rubbing his jaw.  "No," he went on quietly.  "Until tonight when you know she'll be out.  We can split up and take the city."

I laughed and pointed at him.  "You don't get to be a part of this anymore, Jeremy.  I don't even want to see you right now."

"Elijah-"

I shook my head.  "No and if you're going to take his side, both of you can go.  I'll do what you say and wait until the sun sets, but other than that, I'm doing this on my own."

"Come on man-"

"Stop," I snarled.  "I have worked so goddamn hard to save her.  To heal her, to make her believe that she is worth more than the fucking dirt she believes that she is and you guys have been running against me this whole time!  You're supposed to be helping me!  Not fighting against me!"

"We are helping you, Eli," Jane said, taking a step forward.  "He just messed up."

"And now she's addicted to god knows what, putting herself into god knows what type of situations," I snapped.  "So thanks, but no thanks.  You two can go home.  I'll do this on my own."

Jane shook her head.  "No, Elijah, we aren't-"

"Get out!" I screamed, throwing open my door.

Jane flinched.  She frowned, anger filling her eyes as she grabbed Jeremy's arm.  "Come on, let's go."

I looked away as they grabbed their things and left my house.  I slammed my door behind them, walked over, picked up the vase of flowers Harlen had been amendment about keeping in my house and threw them against the wall.  The roses and sunflowers hit the floor with a flump.  I don't know why I even kept those around after she left.  I don't know why I kept refilling them.  Maybe because I hoped she would walk back through that door one day, but obviously that wasn't going to happen.  I hated myself.  I hated myself for keeping those pills in the cupboard and not throwing them away when I was done with them.  I hated myself for not seeing that it was something more than just alcohol.  I hated myself for not seeing that she was screaming for help and I was just as blind as everyone else.  This was as much my fault as it was Jeremy's.