The Dark Side of Space

Chapter 1

A/N: Hello all! Thank you for choosing to read my story. I'm excited to go on this journey with all of you! Don't be shy to give any feedback, or react how you want to! Happy reading!

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 Every child learns the moon landing was faked, maybe even before they learn to read. When my mom was a kid, she and the rest of the world thought different. That in 1969, when there was no color TV or Internet or jumbo jets, there was enough technology to get a man to the moon. America will go to any length and push any propaganda to look like it didn't raise a country of stupid, violent kids who love their cell phones and cheeseburgers and angry rich men who care about looking better than they actually are.

I've always wondered how much work it takes to keep a secret like that. How you would have to have just the right amount of people in on it- enough to keep the lie going, but not too many or someone would definitely run their mouth. I also think about the levels of debriefings and well-constructed lies it would take to bring anyone on board of a scandal that big. I wonder if everyone who worked for NASA and agreed to be part of such a thing was okay with it. I'm sure they certainly weren't okay with losing their jobs once the truth came out and NASA tanked. Now, it's just a reminder of simpler times we'll never go back to, like payphones.

When I was eleven, ACTS put the first man on the moon. Ex-NASA employees and other scientists formed a new space agency, one that prided itself on transparency and eventually making space travel more accessible. When I first saw the moon landing, I'll never forget the way my heart pounded in my chest like that was me doing it. Even though I watched it in my science class I felt like I was all alone, watching the most important part of human history take place. History books are rarely changed, but this called for it. The feeling I got when I watched it never left. Imagine feeling so important, doing something that no one has ever done before, and knowing the whole world is watching and cheering and waiting for you to succeed. I'd do anything to feel that special. It doesn't hurt that "Grace in Space" has a ring to it.

For some reason, it's hard to put all those thoughts into my essay. The prompt glows in my face as I stare at my laptop screen. Why do I want to go to the moon? Because I've never even been on an airplane. I've never even left the state. What contribution would this make to my college career? I could much easier say what contributions it would make to my life. I'd see something other than my tiny, crowded neighborhood or my college town where I feel like the flea on the back of a very large animal. It would finally feel like something special is happening to me. I'm someone that special things almost never happen to. If I got to go to the moon, I'd feel less like a poor impostor and the beneficiary of government aid, and someone who actually deserves something. I write a cliche sentence about how be chosen to do this would broaden my worldly perspective. Even that's an understatement. Why can't I just say that I, like any other red-blooded human, would like the opportunity to actually go to the moon, not just walk around in some studio and lie about it. I don't have any of the training, I can't repair a spaceship, and I don't know much about space, but I'd just like to see. This is my only chance. I can't pay tens of thousands of dollars to some tech billionaire just to look like I've actually gone. I've never wanted anything more.

My heart jumps out of my chest when I hear a banging noise on my window. Before I check it out, I grab my phone in case I need to call the cops. Heart in my throat, I draw back the curtain.

"I'm going to kill you!" I try to hide the smile on my face. My boyfriend, Ray, stands on the other side of the window, grinning like an idiot. I lift up the window to let him in. He almost trips over the bush as he climbs through the window. "What are you doing here?"

Ray collapses on my bed and kicks off his shoes. He puts his arms behind his head like he can't remember the last time he's laid in a bed. "Got off early. Guess people thought they could park their own cars tonight," he shrugs.

I shut the window. "You're lucky my mom's working late."

"Come on, you mom loves me," Ray smiles. He shows off his chipped tooth.

"She wouldn't love you sneaking into her house like a burglar."

Ray rolls his eyes. He sits up and his dark curly hair sticks up in the back. "So what are you doing on this fine Friday night?"

I take my laptop to the bed and sit down next to him. "Writing my scholarship essay."

Ray blows air out of his nose. "Which one this time?"

I purse my lips. "The moon one..."

Ray shifts in the bed. I know he thinks I don't have a chance. He just loves me too much to say that he believes in me, but not that much.

"You know they're just going to choose some famous kids that way it makes better news," he says. "It's not even going to be about how smart you are, or how much you want it-"

"Then they wouldn't even need to let me write an essay," I point out. "Which clearly, I'm good enough at since I got into college. Every time I talk about this you shut it down."

Ray's jaw goes tight. "Oh, come on. You know I support you but you're already gone most of the year."

"My college is an hour away."

"We don't have cars."

"Well that's why I'm going to college, so I can afford a car one day." Ray senses that I don't want to talk about this anymore. He rests his head on my shoulder and lets me work on my essay in peace. If I win, I'd be gone for close to a year. I know I'd miss my family and friends, and well, earth. But at least it'll be an adventure and the best study abroad imaginable. I wonder what the astronauts do on the moon now. Only a few groups of astronauts have gone since Americans actually landed on the moon. The news says they've been confirming that conditions are good enough to live on the moon for an extended period of time, and if it affects the body. They probably don't have time for boring civilian things like reading and watching TV.

I look down at Ray. Secretly, I know he wants more too. No one wants to be a valet their whole life. I tried to convince him to at least try for community college, but he said he didn't see the point if he wanted to work on cars. Deep down, he knows his parents need him to help out and he wouldn't dare do something for himself. Trade school, then I suggested. He refused that too. So now, he parks cars he can't afford for people who don't think anything of him. I hope he'll snap out of it eventually.

"I would miss you," I tell Ray quietly. I didn't go to college to meet other people and forget about him. He's always going to be a special part of home to me.

"Yeah, I'd miss you too," Ray agrees.

I close my laptop and set in on the tiny nightstand next to my bed. I blow out the candle that was keeping the room light enough for me to not nod off to sleep. My bed creaks as I lie down on my side and Ray moves to hold me. My bed is barely big enough for both of us to fit. But being with him is comfortable, even if it's in a twin-sized bed.

I glance out of the window through the open curtain. The moon glows far off overhead. Imagining myself up there seems almost as unlikely as me hitting the lottery. Luckily for me, unlikely and impossible aren't the same thing. Or else, I definitely wouldn't be close to graduating, and I wouldn't have Ray or my mom. As much as I love them, I imagine being in the expanse of space, with nothing but emptiness and darkness and wonder around me. That might sound scary to some people but for me it sounds like the adventure of a lifetime. 

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Remember to comment vote, or add to your list if you're ready for what comes next!