The Dark Side of Space

Chapter 16

I've been stuck in a room for days. It's not the hospital room, so I guess they changed their minds about that. I don't know what time it is. I don't know what day it is. They only let me out to shower once a day. I've taken four showers, so I'm assuming I've been in here at least four days, and this is the fifth. I wish there were windows, at least so that I could see something other than four white walls. I want to see Naomi. I want to know how she's doing. It seems like for now this is my new room, at least until they can confirm my results. There's a bed and a TV at least, but I still feel like I'm going insane. I have no one to talk to. There's not even a mirror in my room, so I can't even look at myself. All I can do is sit here and think about what a mistake I made in applying for this trip. I've cried so much I'm surprised I have any tears left.

The door slides open. Rebecca comes in with a tray of food and her case of medical equipment. "Hey," she says gently. I sit up in the bed. She sets the food down on the nightstand next to me. I don't answer her. She pulls a chair and takes her stethoscope out of her medical kit. Silently, she lifts my sweatshirt to check my heartbeat.

"Your heart sounds good," she says. She puts the stethoscope back into her case and takes out a cuff to take my blood pressure. I sit there like a statue as she invades my personal space to check my vitals. She has to do it every day. I know it's not a requirement out of concern for my personal safety, but to make sure that I remain a decent incubator.

When she's done, Rebecca closes her case and moves the chair out of the way. "You have to eat," she says gently. She puts the tray in front of me. I don't move. "They told me I can't leave until you eat."

Then I guess we'll sit here all day. It's not like I can go anywhere. Rebecca sits in the chair, now on the other side of the room. I'm so bothered by her just sitting here in my room. If I can't have my own body, I wish at least I could have my own space. I almost consider eating so that she'll leave, But I don't want to give in. I'm not even hungry.

Rebecca takes a deep breath. She purses her lips and stares at me like she's trying to think of something to say to get me to eat. I hate how she looks at me like she understands what I'm going through. She couldn't possibly.

"If you don't eat, they'll make me put a tube in your stomach. I don't want to strip that control away from you, so please, just eat," Rebecca says, shaking her head. I don't want that. But I didn't want anything else that's happened either.

"Is Naomi okay?" I ask instead. Maybe Rebecca will get distracted.

She nods. "She's doing fine."

"Fine?" I repeat with distaste. How can she say that?

"Her vitals are fine. Of course, she's upset just like you but physically, she's fine. So are the others."

I'm not sure which others she's talking about. "Who?"

"Galatea and Pandora are being held too," Rebecca answers. She glances at the door. "As far as I know, the boys are just carrying on as normal. I haven't seen any of them." Adam and Joseph are lucky. They can't carry a baby. They don't have to be stuck here. I think about Galatea and Pandora sitting in their rooms. I wonder if they have TVs. Do they even know what a TV is? I imagine Rebecca checking them out. If I was as big as either of them I'd break her in half.

Rebecca points to my food tray. "Eat," she reminds me. I want to call her bluff. If she doesn't want to put me on a tube as much as she says, then she won't do anything.

"I know you don't want to hurt me," I say. Even though she did. "So why would you tell them? How would they know?"

"If your tray comes back with food on it-"