The Dark Side of Space

Chapter 10

 I take a deep breath and say a prayer before I walk into the office. As soon as I told Gary that I wanted to discuss my future in the program, he and Nick started avoiding me like the plague. They stopped coming to lessons and disappeared from our luncheons in the hotel ballroom. It's been four days. Naomi told me to just give it up and move on. Despite what I want, it's not fair for them to ignore me. If they didn't have anything to hide, they wouldn't be afraid to hear me out.

Nick opens the door and looks down at me. "Good morning, Grace," he smiles. He opens the door wider to let me in. Gary is already sitting at the long, wooden table in a royal blue suit. The far wall has a large window that makes it seem like the hotel is floating in the air.

I walk across the room to take a seat. Nick shuts and locks the door behind me. Who locks a room during a meeting? The entire time, Gary watches me. He doesn't bother to give me a fake smile. Instead, he looks distressed. I sit across from Gary at the table. The chair rolls out a little as I sit down. I have to put down my feet to stop it.

Nick sits next to Gary. He folds his hands on the table and stares at his laptop for a long while. "You wanted to speak to us?"

Why else would I be here? I nod. "Yes. I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for this opportunity because I'm very thankful, but I think it would be better if I went home."

Gary blinks like his brain is malfunctioning. He swipes his tongue over his veneers. "Why would you want to leave?"

I don't know how to say that I'm uncomfortable. Well, I know how to say it but I don't want to ruin things for myself in case I can't leave. "I thought this was for me. Now, I don't think it is," I say vaguely.

Nick clears his throat. He doesn't take his eyes off his laptop screen. "'Ever since I was a little girl, traveling to space has forever and always been my dream. When I saw the moon landing in fifth grade, an intense desire awoke in me to travel there myself. I've never been fortunate enough to travel many places but deep down I feel I belong in the vastness of space even more than I feel like I belong at home'." Nick looks up at me. "Should I continue?"

I can't breathe. I shake my head. "No."

"Those are your words, aren't they?" Nick questions. He narrows his crystal blue eyes at me.

"They are. And I'd love to go to space but things don't feel... things don't feel right."

"We depart next week. Things suddenly don't feel right?" Gary asks.

I shake my head again. "No. I mean, I wanted to be sure how I felt, and I asked to talk to you days ago-"

"What doesn't feel right?" Nick interrupts. I'm being attacked from both sides and I can't even think straight about everything I want to say. I wish Ray were here. He'd set Nick and Gary straight in two seconds.

"I don't know, I thought we'd be training to actually be in space, not just reading about it. And then there's that guy who went missing..."

Nick clears his throat. He's doing a poor job of hiding his frustration. His face is almost as red as his ACTS shirt. "Like I've mentioned, civilian space travel doesn't require hours of logged training. We'll have professionals put you into your space suits and make sure you're safe for exploration. You know how to walk, don't you?" I want to say 'no' just to be spiteful. I nod my head. "As for the issue with Harman Taylor, people go missing all the time. Aren't you from Laredo?"

I know what he's about to say. "Yes."

"Young women go missing there all the time. You haven't," Nick argues. Gary nods along like this statement immediately wins their argument. That doesn't make any sense. Women go missing because they're kidnapped, or murdered, or get involved in crime. In a city, where there are cars and buses and fields, and desserts. Not in space, where there's nowhere else to go. Where there's only a small group of people to blame if you don't make it back.