Please Like Me (Lauren/You)

Milk

"I am doing a bad job. I am doing a bad, bad job tonight", I state reuniting with Normani and Billie.
"It can't be that bad, dude", Billie says while Normani chuckles. "Just relax."
"No, no, I will not relax", I laugh.

Not being quite in my natural environment, I haven't managed to actually feel comfortable since the three of us arrived at the night club. The alcohol and the friends do help, but there is only so much you can help.

"What happened?", Normani asks.
"Okay", I start, " so I was talking to this girl, and she was attractive, right, I guess, but then things got dull so I told her about Mickey."
"Of course", Normani just nods while Billie questions.
"Who's Mickey?"
"Oh, my god, Billie, I cannot believe you don't know this!", I exclaim, " When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, his name was Mickey. My dad was, like, super cute, always played along with it. Until one day I sat my dad down, and, I don't know why, I told my dad that my imaginary friend molested me."
Normani laughs loudly, "I love this story!"
"It's the best story!", I yell.

Billie quietly wheezes while sipping her drink and looking between Normani and I.

"The girl didn't respond well?"
"No, night's ruined. It's finished", I fake cry, "I'm too sad. I can't have fun anymore."

Both girls roll their eyes while I dramatically gesture the air around me moving my arms widely.

"Too sad! I can't be happy with all this stuff going on."
"Just because of the girl?", Billie complains.
"No, not just because of the girl, okay! Because of the stuff, you know", I keep on moving my arms around, "This stuff."
"What stuff?"
"North Korea, I don't know", I groan downing my drink.

Billie laughs at my frustration and Normani playfully rolls her eyes. It's like this every time we go out, they don't realize that getting dates is actually not that easy. It has not been that long since I first came to the conclusion that I'm gay, and it's not like I can use the closet as an excuse for my dating life since I hadn't dated that much before then either.

Normani just keeps getting girls, boys and whatevers to the house ever since we got out of high school and I am honestly yet to know what her power is. And while I haven't really known Billie for that long I figure it must be very easy for her to get laid as well, I mean, with that fucking face.

These are supposed to be the years of my life, I'm in my twenties, trying to enjoy myself and to get drunk at a fucking nightclub on a friday night, and this random chick couldn't bother to fake a light giggle for my Mickey story; I am pissed.

"Okay, don't take this personally...", Normani starts.
"But I'm a person, Mani."
She continues, "I think maybe the reason people don't respond to you well in nightclubs is because of your sad-as-shit face."

I gasp loudly and exclaim, "I mean, wow! I mean, that is personal. Isn't it? I mean, that is very personal!"
"Very personal, man", Billie laughs.
"You have a weird energy in nightclubs! You suck all the fun out", Normani defends her point, "You should behave more like Billie."

I agree with her while sipping her drink.
"What? Why?", the young one questions.
"You're very cool."
"Yo, I'm not cool."
"You're so cool, you're so comfortable with yourself", Mani agrees.
"Hanging out with your cool gang", I continue while Billie looks deeply offended.
"I just don't think I'm cool!"
"Fuck off", I push her head away laughing, "You're just trying to fit in."
"What gang, by the way? I don't have a gang."
I hysterically laugh while Normani comments, "Not tonight! Where's Billie's gang?"
"Where's her gang?", I join in, "Where's her little gang gone?"

Mani and I are just laughing really loudly at this point, her pausing to turn around and take the drinks from the table beside ours, while Billie just shakes her head and groans.