Please Like Me (Lauren/You)

Scroggin

Bird chipping.
I get out of the van, zipping up my parka and throwing my enormous backpack onto my shoulders.

Mom gets out right after me, adjusting the strips of her backpack as I slide the door of the van shut, before it drives away.
I breath in, looking around and watching all the trees shake with the wind, and there are so many trees.

"Okay, we need to get some water", I speak up.
"Oh, I forgot to fill my water bottle up", mom exclaims.
"No, you don't need to", I reply, "There's meant to be a tank around here."
"Oh. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm just a bit nervous about everything."
"No, it's alright", I assure her as we start walking, "We'll be fine. Let's do it"
"I'm just afraid we might have forgotten something, that's all."
"Nope."

A couple minutes pass and we're deep into the wild, following the trail. I glance around the high grass through my shades as mom starts singing out.
"Roxanne!", she tunelessly yells out into the woods, "You don't have to put on the red light"

As we walk along the dirt trail, she sings a couple more indistinct sentences, making the instrumental noises on top of that, flapping her arms around.
"Ooh! Roxanne, oh-"
"Mom. Mom!", I call her attention and she stops midline, turning around to look back at me, "You don't... Don't feel like you need to fill in all the quiet space, okay? There's only five days of quiet space, okay? Sorry, just... Try not to be the Donkey to my Shrek, yeah? Alright."
She sighs, "Okay."
"Okay."

We resume walking and all I hear is the birds and the trees, along with mom and I's heavy steps onto the rocks and dirt.
It's been a couple minutes of walking and I start feeling tired, hoping there isn't much more long to walk.
When hills come into my eye sight, I turn around to mom, checking up on her, "Mom, are you okay? There's big hills coming. Do you want me to take some of your stuff?"

She keeps her head down, facing the floor in silence, just walking and not replying.
"Mom? Hey, mom!", nothing, "Mom, do you need a rest?", still nothing, "Mom?"
She catches up to me before speaking up, a bit breathless, "I'm sorry, Shrek, just trying to give you some quiet space."

After walking up and down the hills for a while, we end up on top of this big rock with a view to the valley below. That's where we set our things down while I start making lunch.
I'm setting up the camping stove as mom glances around, her eyes squinted due to the sun.
"What are you making?", she questions me.
"Macaroni and cheese."
"Ooh. Macaroni and cheese, yes, please", she sings out, "Macaroni and cheese, what a tease, macaroni"

She giggles at herself before blowing her nose onto a tissue as I start pouring the pasta onto the pan.
"That's... That's beautiful", I comment, mindlessly.
"Mac. It's back. With cheese. Yes, please."

I hear another blow onto a tissue as I stir the pasta in the water.
"Do you remember when you were a scout?"
"Yeah", I reply, "Of course I remember"
"Did you get your mac and cheese badge?", mom mocks me.
I chuckle, "Yeah, I got my camp cooking badge, yes."

After that mom grows quiet for a bit, looking back down at the valley, and I turn my attention back to the food.
And out of the blue, "Were you ever touched?"

I raise my eyebrows and snort, before slowly turning my head to face mom, "Pardon?"
"By a scout master."
"No. No, I was not touched. Why?"
Mom shrugs, "Just thought maybe you had but nobody ever asked you about it."
I pause before shaking my head and turning back to the stove, "No, I was never touched. I was never touched as a kid. People don't generally like touching me."
"Ugh, here we go about Billie again", mom groans and I wheeze.
"No, we're not going about Billie", I laugh out.
"Billie, Billie!", she sings out at the hills, "The bully, it's Billie!"