Virtuous: Redemption

Chapter 3: Tumnus is Right

Sara was quick to dry her tears as she lay on the floor of her cell for fear they would freeze on her face. Perhaps she wanted to save her reputation as well, but now that she was in the prisons she didn't have any of the guards' respect anymore. She wondered if she ever had it at all.

The end of her nose and her cheeks were a bright red, and she was already losing feeling in her fingertips laying on the ice.

She lifted her eyes from the ground in front of her to the cell across from her. Two goat legs and a red scarf caught her eye. She pushed herself to a sitting position and leaned against the iron bars, accepting the way it sucked the heat from her arm. She decided she wasn't going to stay very warm anyway.

She sniffled. "I guess you can say 'I told you so'," she called out to Tumnus.

There was no answer for an agonizing moment, but finally, he shifted to look at her, that same look of pity in his eyes from before. "Oh, Sara." His voice was soft; it would have been comforting if not for the lingering resentment she felt.

"You were right, Tumnus." She felt more tears threatening to spill over again. Her attempts to hold them back were fruitless, but it was a valiant effort, she thought. "She tricked me, and she used me, just like you said she would." Her eyes dropped, wiping away the beginnings of the icicle forming on her nose.

"The Witch cares only for the things that she can use to her advantage. Once it's no longer of use to her, she discards it. I'm sorry."

She felt a shiver run through her body and she restrained her teeth from chattering.

"Not all is lost yet," Tumnus comforted. He must have noted Sara's trembling lip.

"Not all is lost?" Sara snapped, anger welling up and blazing in her chest. "What else is there? Everything I've worked for, everything I've hoped for, everything I've dreamed of, it's all gone! How can you say not all is lost?" Her voice reverberated for several moments after her outburst concluded.

Tumnus waited for total silence to return before speaking again. "There are greater things at work here. There's still hope with Aslan on the move." His eyes sparkled a little.

"Aslan?" She scoffed at the mention of his name. "Where has Aslan been all this time? Hm? If he is going to rescue everyone and everything, why did he wait a hundred years?" Her eyes dropped to the icy ground. "Besides," her countenance shifted a little, "even if he were coming to aid Narnia, he wouldn't want anything to do with me. I've killed his soldiers and allied with the Queen, for heaven's sake. He won't save me."

Tumnus searched her eyes. "I wouldn't be so quick to assume such things. He is a good Lion."

Sara evaded his gaze and dried some more stray tears, pulling her knees to her chest. "If He's so good, He won't save me."

Her statement rendered Tumnus speechless.

She pushed herself to the opposite side of her cell, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep.

"Sara," Tumnus spoke softly in case she were already asleep, "I know you feel like everything is lost. But I do hope you know I will be your friend if it means you won't lose hope. You're very smart, and you're loyal and passionate. You may not consider yourself very valuable in anybody's eyes, but I would argue otherwise."

Sara closed her eyes pretended she didn't hear him. She wanted to sleep.

***

Too loud, was all Sara could hear herself think. She picked up her favorite horse figurine and crept out the back door. It didn't take much effort to open and shut the screen door quietly. Even the way it slammed couldn't be heard over her parents' shouting match.

I wish they would stop, she thought, ignoring the sound of something shattering inside the house. She trotted out to the woods in the backyard, dancing her horse about the air as if it were galloping carelessly far, far away from danger. She mimicked a whinnying sound as she neared a stream. She dipped the horse's muzzle into the crystal clear water.

The next few moments were a blur. She remembered dropping the horse into the water and reaching to grab it, then falling into the creek.

The water rose up over her head, and for a moment, fear consumed her, but when she gasped, water didn't fill her lungs as she went down, down, down. She didn't remember the creek being this deep.

Then suddenly her head broke the surface of the water and she sat on a creek bank in the snow. She wasn't wet, but her dress certainly wasn't a wintertime dress. She plucked her horse figurine from the creek and pulled her stockings up over her knees to try to stay warm. She rubbed her arms and trekked through the snow, astounded by the winter wonderland surrounding her. The sound of sleigh bells approached, and Sara stepped out of the way as the white reindeer slowed to a stop.

At first she was afraid of the tall, pale woman wrapped in furs, but she was beautiful in a terrible sort of way. The woman invited Sara into the sleigh and wrapped her in her cloak, offering her a warm drink and bringing her home.

Years passed in seconds, it seemed. Sara remembered flashes of fighting terrible beasts, like hags and harpies and werewolves, but she fought beautiful ones, too. Fauns and cheetahs and woodland creatures cowered before her. The ulgy, horrid beasts steadily grew less frightening to her as she grew older, and the beautiful woodland creatures appeared small and pitiful, their pathetic faces frozen in stone when the Queen would decide Sara had fought them for long enough.

The face that did not freeze, that did not remain set in stone was the face of the satyr she had fought only a few days previous. Her left hand firmly grasped his chipped and cracked horn, her right holding the sword to his throat.

She remembered even though his eyes begged for mercy, his brave words still came boldly and with conviction: "Aslan will prevail".

The sound of her sword splitting the satyr's pure flesh woke her. She cried out, her gaze flickering around wildly, like prey watching closely for a predator. Once the echo of her scream died away, the prisons were left in silence.

She let herself slide back to the ground, and she didn't remember falling back asleep, but the world faded out, as did her panic.