expired || k.sj x chubby reader [embrace yourself]

twelve

🥀

『 S E O U L, 2 0 2 0 』

Reader's point of view

"So, you're getting divorced ?"

I nodded, looking away as Hoseok's deep stare remained on my figure. Although I tried to act normal at work, I had failed to convince the one colleague who knew me the best. In the end, I had to tell him half the truth. I told him that Jaehyun and I were getting divorced for personal matters, mainly because we didn't get along anymore. The abuse part would be a story for another time.

"That's weird..." he sighed "I thought you guys were happy."

"I just wouldn't mention it at work, but it's been months now. I can't even stand the sight of him!"

"Woah, that much?" I nodded "Is it because of that singer dude?"

I paused for a second. Well, it was thanks to him. "Absolutely not! What are you implying Hoseok?"

The man shook his head. "Not that! But you guys seems close... He comes to the restaurant at least twice a week."

"We're friends. He has been really supportive with all this..."

"Right." Hoseok winked "Friends."

"Whatever! We're here."

Because I was in a better mood ever since the divorce papers were signed, I thought it would be nice to spend some time with my closest coworker. I felt like I had to be partially honest with Hoseok, since he was concerned about me. So, I invited him for lunch on a friendly date.

"You'll move out?" I nodded. "And Jaehyun keeps the house?"

"I'd rather not stay there; I don't want the house. I prefer a fresh start, and I would like to handle things on my own."

Hoseok gave me a kind and sympathetic smile. "If you need anything, just ask!"

~ ♡ ~

I never thought I'd feel that lonely without Jaehyun in my life. Although our marriage's last months were far from pleasing, I still feel like I had someone close to me. Now, I was just all by myself and it was terrifying.

I had always been scared of being rejected, abandoned or unloved ; and my divorce seemed like the perfect to feel all these. Moreover, would I be able to love someone again? Jaehyun had betrayed me, he destroyed the trust and faith I had in him. How could I fall in love and fully commit myself to anyone, knowing that they could hurt me?

Falling out of love had been healing, and I didn't want to catch feelings for someone yet. Being on my own was fine, I liked it that way. Perhaps was I meant to end up alone, by myself. The thought of it didn't bother me a bit though. I felt like I deserved that.

"Soomin really has shitty tastes!" exclaimed Jin as he walked around the apartment owned by his friend "Who the hell puts a fridge in their living room? It's not like there's not enough space!"

I rented out Soomin's place for a few months while she was abroad for some movie in Thailand. As a kind woman, she adjusted the rent so I could pay it without having to starve myself to death before the end of the month.

"Are you comfortable?"

I nodded, tapping the empty spot on the couch, right next to me.

"Let's watch this movie!"

Jin chuckled, nodding as he placed a bowl of chips on the coffee table.

Thanks to him, I didn't feel lonely. Alone, yes, but I knew had someone I could rely on. A friend who was not only caring but supportive and dedicated as well. I loved spending time with Jin. Without him, I'd probably still be stuck at home with Jaehyun, dead by now. He partially saved me, and I liked to think of him as my guardian angel. Someone I could look up to, I could trust and feel safe with.

🥀