The Bizarre Adventures of the Protagonists (Josuke x Reader)

Chapter 1

authors note: oh god this is one of the few things I've written that have over a 1000 word count in one chapter and i find that exciting so I thought I'd let you guys know

Chapter 1: The Transport and Normalization of Interdimensional and Interuniversal Portals in Morioh and How Data Only Works When You're in the Right Universe

Looking at the yellow sky and distant mountains, you knew one thing. "Oh dear god hopefully this isn't part 8 Morioh I haven't read it yet," you thought out loud, only knowing the part 8 spoilers cause of the internet and your one guy friend being a lil' bitch spoiling stuff. You checked your phone, just incase maybe there's inter-universal internet connection but, no. You figured that since your data supplier was at least as old as the company Apple, you were definitely in 1999 Morioh, original-universe type stuff. Hurray for you. No spoilers, but also no internet. :Ohhhh noooo you're gonna die," is what you thought before you passed out. No internet was a shocking thing for you, after all, no weekly watchings of part 5, no internet, no internet, no Jojo, no more free trials of Spotify Premium, and no more WWIII memes on your beloved app, TikTok.

...

"Oi Josuke, there's a random cute girl on the grass over here!"

"Great... God, hopefully it isn't another person who thinks they're an alien."

"Nah, it looks like a normal girl! See? She looks like she was goin' to school!"

"I don't think any schools around here have a uniform like that, and she looks kind of foreign. Maybe she's one of those people who think they're Japanese?" Waking up to the hopefully-real Josuyasu duo wasn't the most comforting when you're on the grass of an unfamiliar universe, but hey, seeing Morioh in real life was awesome. It looked more like the town you grew up in as a child rather than the city you guessed didn't live in anymore. "Um, before you use your stands to heal me or delete me from existence, I'll have you know, unlike Mikitaka, I am not an alien, nor am I a stand user..." You said, getting up from your uncomfortable spot on the hard ground, but then you realized you shouldn't have mentioned the stand part. "If you're not a stand user, how do you know about stands, let alone, our stand abilities?" Josuke asked slyly, putting his hand on his cheek while crouching to make you sure that you knew you were being asked this question. "Well, um... outside knowledge... family problems?" You tried not to tell them that you were from another dimension, because it'd sound like a complete lie, and it'd be embarrassing. "Well Josuke, that sounds kind of reasonable why don't we just walk her to wherever she needs to go?"

"Okuyasu, she sounds like she's lying through her teeth. I'm not letting her go anywhere until she tells us why she knows us. I've never seen her around here either, isn't that a little suspicious?"

"Well, yeah, I guess... but maybe she's a shut-in!" Okuyasu suggested that point with a little too much confidence for you to be comfortable, and you ended up becoming more uncomfortable at the thought of you being a smelly, shut-in weeb that does nothing more than sit on a computer all day begging for a 'hot Asain gf, no American girl unless they dummy thicc' and you didn't like that. "Ok, I'll tell you what happened, and you can be skeptical, but please don't laugh at the tragedy of which is my life," you shyly say, hopefully not making them think you're a bit too immature or younger than them- you were the same age as them after all, and you also found both of them cute in their own ways. "Great, you'll finally tell us. Go on, we probably won't judge too much, well, at least Okuyasu won't."

"Hey! Don't make fun of me like that in front of a girl!" Okuyasu probably took offense to that. But either way, you told them the story of how you saw some 「enemy stando user」 and thought it was a good idea to chase after it, resulting in yourself going into a portal, you know, as typical protagonists do. You also try to explain that they're part of JoJo, but they have a hard time getting it over their heads.

"Ok... we're fictional in your universe..? But you're from another universe, that's kind of frightening," Josuke admitted, while Okuyasu managed to also end up passing out on the ground. "In this universe, the year is 2000, but you managed to be from a universe where it's 2020... That means you're from the future, which is cool, but.... Ugh. This is hard to wrap my head around, man. And an enemy stand user? We gotta find whoever this guy is." It seemed like Josuke was thinking out loud, but you didn't mind, his voice, in all realities, was soothing. "Should I also mention that stands don't exist in my universe? Just to let you know? Nor do Aztec gods that were fought by your father... or even evil gay vampires?" You kind of tried to lightly put that in, but your degeneracy made you want to prove that you knew about this universe, were from another, and that DIO is definitely at least bi? It made you feel like you were trash of a person for having to mention this while he could be having a potential breakdown. You could see him freaking out, so you opened the bag you took with you to school, and got a piece of gum, but not before noticing you had volume one of part 4 in your bag. "Uh, do you want some mint gum?" you tried to say this lightly without mentioning the fact that he's having a 「breakdown」. "Yeah, that'd be nice," Josuke said, slightly blushing at the fact that a girl was trying to help him calm down. You handed him the gum, and like normal people, he started chewing it.

"Oh great, Okuyasu is passed out. I'm gonna carry him back to his house. Uh, wanna come with me?" Josuke mentioned, thankfully remembering that I was homeless in this universe. "Not being alone would be nice, sure. Would your mom mind if I stayed at your house?" You questioned this last bit, because even though you knew his mom was chill, you were still extremely frightened of her. "Uh, yeah, my mom would probably not mind," Josuke responded.