Second Chance

My Table is Ready

So black. So dull. Just, nothing. 

Everything is a black oblivion. 

       I can't open my eyes. I can't hear myself breathe. In fact, it seems like I can't do anything. It seems like I can't do anything someone alive would be able to do. Just absolutely no function.  

Maybe that's the question. Am I dead? 

I guess I'll know soon enough. 

        What happened? Well, let's see. I was driving with Maddie so Liam could make amends and I apologized to her if I was the reason for the way he acted. She said that I probably was, but it was nothing to worry about. The next thing I knew was waking up to a dark oblivion. I wonder if Maddie's okay. God if she's hurt it's going to be my fault. I was the one who said, 'Hey let's go get Liam and work this out,' and look where that got us. 

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. 

What's that sound? 

"Get him on oxygen, now!"

"His pulse is back." 

"He's breathing! I need that mask, now!" 

        What the hell is going on? Am I in the hospital? Wait, if I'm in the hospital, who called 911? So many questions. If only I could just open my eyes. It's almost like they don't want to open, like I'd be better off in this dark oblivion.  

        I'm trying. I'm trying to fight back. Stay alive. If I can do that, people won't have to suffer from the loss of my life. Fighting is all about what you're thinking. Whether it be if you are in a boxing match and don't know where to punch, or how determined you are to go through your next chemo therapy treatment, if you think it you can most certainly put your thoughts into actions. 

        You know that cheesy saying when people are talking about death, they say that 'their lives flash before their eyes'? Well, they're not lying. It's not like all the memories are flashing by you all at once. When this happens, it seems like only the important memories, are popping up. 

        First, the day I got five thousand dollars for an art competition. I think I was twelve. No, thirteen. Yes, thirteen. I was really insecure back then because a lot of people thought I was depressed because I was really quiet and didn't talk unless I had to. 

        We had these things in school called 'special subjects'. Every two months or so, we would rotate to the next one, and everyone had that certain subject at different times. I had art last, so everyone was talking about getting together with their friends for vacations, etcetera. Well, I guess you could I say I was the one who would sit in my room and do literally nothing that required being social. So, in art class we had to paint something with a paint brush in it. I painted a hand holding an art brush and the hand was painting an Aster flower. Everyone would watch me as they walked by and I finally felt like people would actually see me for something that isn't negative. After I was finished my teacher sent it to this company that was running a competition, and three weeks later I got an envelope with a blue ribbon and a ton of cash. 

        The next flashback was something that happened recently. Maddie running into me. She was covered in dirt, but I didn't say anything. To be honest I didn't recognize her at first. I just thought she needed a ride and then she ended up staying the night at my house. I don't regret running into her, I really don't. But if I don't stay alive after all of this, it would be one more person I've hurt. Maddie is probably the only reason I want to stay alive. She wants to know who killed her, and I'm going to help her. No matter what it takes. Wow that sounded really cliché, but you know what I mean.