Inspector Rames

Chapter 64

I fled from the office to the staff toilets, tears overflowing. Was Alex saying that he didn't want to get married anymore?

Was I being too pushy about the planning?

I pressed my forehead against the tiled wall and sighed as a headache started to build. We'd been rushed into this -- forced into this -- and now Alex was probably thinking that while the sex was good, he hadn't even known me for a year. So he definitely didn't want to sign up for forever.

I left the toilets twenty minutes later, certain that he would have gone home. When I reached my office and saw Dixon and Sebastian talking a little further up the corridor, I suddenly realised that I should have checked my tearful reflection. They broke off their conversation and came towards me immediately, and by the time I'd ducked into the cube for my bag and re-emerged, they were waiting.

Sebastian was frowning. "Amber, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and sidled past, tears threatening to rise again. He reached out for me, but I jerked away.

"Amber," Dixon warned.

I strode clear of them, out the maze of cubes, through the station door, running to the top of the road. I slowed to a walk when I hit the high street. Another tear slithered down my cheek, and I swiped it away.

My tabphone buzzed. Dixon was calling. I didn't answer. I knew that ignoring my governor was playing with fire, but I didn't care.

I kept my tabphone cradled in my hands as I walked, watching Dixon's name flash up over and over again. I couldn't decide whether he was growing more concerned or more pissed off. At last, when I turned onto my road, I shoved it back in my pocket. My fingers were turning numb now, so I buried them deep. They brushed against cardboard.

My stride faltered. I pulled my hand back out and looked at what I was holding.

It was a cream business card with Lavender Jones, Wedding Planner embossed on it. Roses grew around her name. I smoothed my fingertips over them, quite certain that I'd never picked the card up. Where had it come from?

"You found her?" I asked outside Jade's Cakes.

"Yes." Lavender touched my shoulder. "It was awful, Inspector."

What had she been doing with her other hand -- slipping the card in my pocket? I flipped it over and scrutinised the blank side as if it held the answer. That had been sly.

When I reached the entrance to my block, I tucked it back into my pocket. I wouldn't even have to wish for a wedding planner if Alex told me that he wanted to call the whole thing off. Although when prison was the other option, that was hardly likely.

But if the wedding meant nothing to him, did he still love me?

He was waiting just inside our front door, leaning against the wall. His shoulders were slumped, but he straightened up when I came in. "Amber, I'm sorry. Please -- don't go."

I realised that I was hesitating on the threshold, and I wondered if I should ignore him and turn around. Find somewhere loud to drown out my thoughts. Pretend that this day had never happened.

That would only prolong the inevitable, so I shut the door and folded my arms over my chest.

He rubbed his forehead. "I didn't mean what I said in our office to come out like that. I'm angry for you, not with you. And it's not that I don't think the wedding matters -- I just wish it didn't."

I raised my eyebrows.

"I mean -- I do want it to matter, but..." He heaved a sigh. "Hell, Amber, I'm in love with you. The rest of it is peripheral to me."