Forbidden - Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 7

The next week was a hell of a week.

No, not that kind of a hell of a something.

The other. The literal.

Because, literally, it was a hell of a week.

Hell.

That was the only way you could describe it. And it was all because of him.

After what Meredith had said that Friday and after thinking of it the whole weekend you were 100% sure that no matter how much you denied it, or wanted to suppress it, you were in love with him. You were in love with Dean, and you couldn't help it. Not anymore. Just thinking of him, of how he would smile at you, of how he would talk at you, especially when he was worried, of how his green orbs would shine when he laughed, was enough for you to not want to deny your feelings anymore. Although it seemed hard sometimes. Especially when thinking of the fact that he was your teacher. Not to mention married.

And then... Monday came. The weekend was over and school started again. And you so-wished it hadn't, because it literally was one hell of a week.

All the times you had a lesson with him, he seemed... cold. Cold and distant. Whenever he came in to have a lesson and had to ask a question, he always asked other students for the answer. And he did not let you tell the answer when they could not. He avoided you. He did not talk to you during the lesson, not paying attention to you, as if you were not there. He did not even so glance at your direction and when he did... well, you wished he didn't. He would look at you with such a cold expression that you would always look somewhere else than in his eyes. And when you talked with Kol, that's when you mostly felt his glare at you, though you did not understand why.

And then there was the paper.

He began handing the papers and when he gave you yours, well, what you saw completely surprised you. You opened your textbook to see any possible errors you might have and you saw a big red F written at the top. You had failed. You did not expect it at all. You knew that it was not one of your best papers but you still thought you'd done well. Maybe a B- or C+ but certainly not an F. It did make you feel sad but you were sure that you would do better next time.

Big mistake.

Every other paper he assigned you and you did, no matter how many hours or effort it took you, was marked with the same red F. You could not understand why, but it really got to you and all you did was try even harder. It was of big importance to not fail biology and do well but things didn't go according to plan.

And so without even realizing it, another week passed by. Exactly the same as the previous one. And you could not stand it anymore.

~~~

Dean could not stand it either. These two past weeks had been really hard for him. It was hard for him to act so cold and distant. It was hard for him to ignore you during the lesson. It was hard for him to not even glance at you. It was hard for him to look at you with a glare and not comfort you when he saw the hurt look on your face. And it was hard for him to put an F to all of your papers, even though most of them were worth an A.

But then, when he thought of you and Kol during class or at the hallway, chatting and sometimes laughing, he completely lost it. And he was more than sure that he saw red when he saw Kol hug you after the lesson, probably after seeing you sad about the F on your paper. But despite that fact, he couldn't keep it and letting out a growl he stormed out of the class.

So here he was. Two weeks after he "found out" about your feelings for Kol and after two weeks of his jealousy getting the best of him, he walked down the road full of snow, which led to the local cemetery. The cemetery where his father was buried.

He walked through the various graves and gravestones till he reached the one he was looking for. His father's. 

He looked down at the gravestone, trying to think of nothing and nobody and let all his worried fade away, for even a few minutes.

It was times like this, when he visited his father's grave, that he would think more clearly and about what really mattered in his life.

Some times it was about Lisa, others about Sam, rarely about him, but this time, his thoughts were about you.

And then the silence was broken. 

Footsteps were heard, someone crunching to the ground and then a voice.

"Hey mom, yeah me again" a dry and raspy from the cold, and crying, voice was heard saying. Your voice.

"It seems as if I've gotten used to come more and more. Sorry for bothering" you let out a dry laugh and sniffed.

"Yeah, sorry. I just..." you stopped and took in a shaky breath, wiping a few tears.

"I'm sorry mom. I'm so so so sorry... I'm failing. I'm failing you and I'm failing dad" you said and started crying more a few sobs escaped your throat.

"I tried" you sniffed "I still am trying. But no matter how hard I try I just... keep failing." you started sobbing again and Dean tried  with all his will not turn and grab you to comfort you. He hated hearing you cry.

"I'm sorry mom. I really try. I try as much as I can. I study till late at night but I just keep failing biology" and that crushed him.

He was the reason you were crying and oh-boy did he hate that.

"And I'm failing to keep my promise. I'm failing mom and because of me... dad will die too" you said crying "I won't be able to become a doctor and dad..." you stopped, starting crying, and Dean clenched his fists.

"I won't be able to save him, mom. I'm sorry" you finished and Dean clenched his jaw.

How could he have been so selfish? How could he have left his jealousy and his ego take over so easily? 

He knew that you wanted to become a doctor for a long time, and although he had heard Sam say that your father had a health problem, he never thought that it would be reason why you wanted it so much and tried so hard to achieve that goal. He never thought that you wanted to become a doctor so that you could help your father with his health problem.

And he felt bad about that. He felt bad because he knew how it was to feel responsible for losing someone, especially that close to you, and not being able to do anything to save them, even though you could. He knew it because that's how he felt every single day of his life after his father's death. He blamed himself and he knew that that's what you would do if anything happened to Kieran, and he would be responsible for that. Dean would be responsible for your future grief and self loathing and he hated himself more for that.

But he had made his decision, no matter what, he was not going to let you go through what he did. Because he loved you and he should not let his jealousy take over... he could not.

~~~

After visiting you mother's grave you returned home and started your homework. Though this time you did not put much effort into it, knowing that once again you were going to get an F on your biology paper.

The next day as usual Dean walked into class and started gathering the papers.

What surprised you was the look on his face when you handed him your own paper. Hurt. He looked hurt and sad. You didn't really know what caused it but you did not have the will to question it. You really were tired. Tired of everything. So for the rest of the lesson, it was not him that avoided eye-contact, but you. And whenever he asked you a question, even if you knew the answer, you simply answered "I don't know sir" in a low voice.

Quickly the lesson ended and in the last five minutes he decided to hand you your previous papers. When he handed you yours, to say that you were surprised would be an understatement.

Below the red A there was written in small letters 'I'm sorry'

You started at it for a while. Looking from the paper to Dean, sitting on his desk, and then back at it. 

You frowned, trying to understand what was going on. 

Once the bell rang all the students got up and this time you staid behind, waiting for everyone to get out. Once the class was cleared of students you approached his desk and upon looking at your approaching, Dean cleared his throat and after letting a sigh he looked up at you.

"Yes, (y/n)?" he asked "Can I help you?"

"Uhm yes, Mr. Winchester. I wanted to ask-" you hesitated for a while and then spoke "I saw the grade on my paper and I wanted to ask what you meant with what you've written below" you looked at him, biting slightly your lip.

Dean let out a small sigh "That I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the last few papers that I've mark with an F. They deserved a better grade. Way better. I just-" he hesitated, not knowing what to really say. Not the truth of course. He could not say that he was jealous. He could not say that was being egoistic. And he certainly could not say that he felt that way only because of his feelings for you.

"I just thought that this way I would be able to... push your further. To.. test your limits and force you to do better. Because I know that you can do amazingly. I believe in you" he said, which was not completely a lie.

"R-really?" you asked, not really believing what you were hearing. 

He nodded and a small smile appeared on your lips, making him smile a little bit too.

"Yes. But obviously I did not achieve that and I just discouraged you. So I'm sorry if you thought that you were not doing well. In fact you were." he said feeling bad for what he had done.

"T-thank you Mr. Winchester. Thank you very much" you said with a big smile on your face, finally gaining hope.

"No problem (y/n)" he said smiling at seeing you happy.

Though his smile turned into a sad one after he saw you go out of the class and immediately joined Kol in the hallway.

Maybe this is for the best Dean thought.

He could not be with you. All he would cause was pain to the people that were close to him, you included. And he did not want that.

~~~

And just like that the week was over once again. It was Friday night and you found yourself at the small library near your school reading and writing. Trying really hard to get the damn history paper finished. 

You let out a frustrated sigh glancing at the clock. Seeing as it was really late at night you shook your head and closed the books, putting your papers into your bag you made your way to the librarian's desk, holding the books in your hands. You gave them to her and after telling her good-night you walked out of the library and made your way to your place.

Holding your bag closer to yourself you walked down the empty streets. There were not many lights on and the darkness made you feel uneasy, as if somebody was watching you. You tried to shake the feeling off and turned around the corner walking in the darkness for a while.

You were feeling nervous, you would confess to that. It was not your fault though. It was a well-known fact that a lot of people went missing lately, most of whom at night, and were not found. And when they found someone, by chance, they were always dead. And not just dead, but murdered in brutal way. Heart missing, neck cut, bloodied and bruised, cuts all over them, as if somebody tortured them. But what terrified you the most was that nothing has been done to track them. No matter how much the police would try, they had not managed to even so catch one of them. Because they were sure that there were at least nine people, if not more.

You suddenly stopped for a while, feeling eyes on you. You turned to look behind you but saw nothing. You looked to your right and then left but did not see anyone.

"I'm going crazy" you shook your head and hugged your jacket closer to yourself and turned to start making your way back to your home again.

But nobody could have prepared you for what you saw.

A man in front of you. 

And before you could react he put a hand on your mouth, preventing you from screaming.

Of God help me you thought.