Au were Pennywise came back in 2001 and no one died and Richie and Eddie are happy, Stan is happy with Patty and Benverly and Hanbrough happened
Tw: attempted suicide, self harming, suicidal thoughts.
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Richie lay in bed, waiting for his boyfriend to arrive home. He didn't think IT would've returned so much... Earlier. They thought they all had fifteen more years, but, not anymore. Now 25, he was just another comedian with ptsd, just another guy looking for a new manager. Eddie, also now 25, had a well paying job, was stable and finally healed after three months in hospital after getting stabbed.
But, whenever Richie lay alone in his and Eddie's shared bed, it reminds him of how alone he used to be. How no one cared for him back then. How sad he was.
When Richie was in his early twenties, at like 21, he had fallen into a depression. It was during the first peek in his career that he had first tried to... Y'know. Fighting IT didn't make it better. IT yelled how Richie couldn't kill him (Pennywise) ... Let alone himself (Richie). Richie had frozen in that moment, soon, getting caught in the deadlights. When they killed IT, no one questioned him, in fear of a break down erupting.. Or in better words, another break down erupting.
And as he lay in bed, fiddling with a strand of walk-about hair, he thought of that night. The night he tried to end it all. He was so close. It felt good on how close he was. He needed that feeling.
He sat up and looked at his arms. Faded scars were scattered around his inner and outer forearms. His mind went to the red streaks that had once covered them. He needed it.
Do it. Do it. Do it.
He thought. Richie heard the door open and booked it to the bathroom, grabbing one of his pencil sharpeners on the way. His one chance.
He slammed the door behind him and locked it, hearing Eddie call out his name. Over. And over. Richie ignored it. He found a screwdriver in the smallest cupboard and unscrewed the blade from the sharpener. He examined it. The corners sharp and fine. The edges thin and strong. Perfect.
The door handle to the bathroom rattled. "Richie!!" Eddie called. "Baby please! Are you okay!?" Richie smiled and looked at the door. "I'll be fine soon. Don't worry." Richie dragged the baled along his outer arm. The blood trickled quickly from the wound. "Soon?! Richie, open this door!!" Eddie sobbed.
He's crying.... Because of me... He's crying... Help him...
Richie's thoughts began to guilt him. He's making Eddie sad. Hurting him. Richie threw the razor at the wall, having no need to go for the door since Eddie had kicked it open. Eddie's eyes were glassy and red. He was very upset. In an angry and sad way. His eyes wandered his boyfriends arms. New scars topped on others, some close enough to almost skim a vein.
Eddie ran to him and grabbed his arms (as gentle as an angry man can) and grabbed bandages from the cupboard. Richie whined and cried from pain, the feeling of Eddie's hands gripping him made it worse.
Once his arms were covered in beige bandages and almost clear masking tape, Eddie stared into his eyes. "You lied."
"Eds-"
"You promised not to do this!"
"E-Eds-"
"And now you almost even cut your veins!" Eddie had screwed his eyes shut, only to shoot them open to the sobs of Richie. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry okay! I needed this feeling! This feeling of almost passing again!! It felt so good but.... Fuck me... I'm hurting you while doing it too! I'm a fucking idiot, and I'm sorry!!" his eyes had became waterfalls, his eyes were barely visible, aside from his blue irises.
Eddie shook. He wasn't making him better. He held Richie close to him, petting his hair and crying softly. "I shouldn't of yelled, I'm sorry, baby."
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After a while, Richie was a tired mess, having fallen asleep on Eddie's chest and between his legs. Eddie had treated him to take out and free cuddles for the night and promised to call in sick for work for his next shift. It had taken a while to stop Richie from crying beforehand but soon he had just went to sniffles and laughing at whatever jokes he could make. That's what Eddie wanted to hear all night. His laugh. That one thing that made him oh so damn happy.
And Eddie will be damned if he doesn't make sure Richie is safe as soon as he can, to make sure he is there. To make sure he is happy.
