Ash vs Evil Dead: Season 4

Chapter 2: The Knights of Sumeria

Ash and Lauren arrive at the base of The Knights of Sumeria. "Wow... That is the ugliest piece of shit I have ever seen. " Said Ash. "We had to use a bunch of scrap and building debris to build that 'piece of shit'. " Said Lauren in an annoyed tone. "Well I'm sorry that your base is literally a couple of buildings mushed together. " Said Ash in a pretentious tone. "Ok so all we have to do is get in and make a plan to kill The Dark Ones and get the Necronomicon to undo all of this. " Said Lauren. "Ok ok jeez. " Said Ash. They both walked up the door and knocked on it. The door opened revealing a room with 20 people sitting at a large table in a smallish house. "Well I can tell we're going to be here a while. " Said Ash. "What makes you say that. " Said Lauren. "Well we've got like 20 people to fight The Dark Ones who may I remind you have The neco-fucking-nomican! " Said Ash in a loud tone. "Ash it's ok. " Said Lauren. "How is this ok, we're going to lose if we just have 20 fucking people. " Said Ash in a loudish tone. "We've got around a thousand more in the basement. " Said Lauren. "I'm sorry you said a thousand? " asked Ash. "Yep, the best part is that they're trained and everything. " Said Lauren. "Hmmm... Ok so we might have a bit of a chance. " Said Ash. "First we'll need to survey the area and see if we need to clear out some more Deadites. " Said Lauren. "Yeah that's a pretty good idea. " Said Ash. They walked out and closed the door. They hopped in the car and started driving toward The Dark Ones dwelling place. On their way there they heard what seemed to sound like a another human. "Wait did you hear that? " Asked Ash. "Yeah, but what the hell is it? " Asked Lauren. "I think we should investigate it. " Said Ash. "Maybe... " Said Lauren. They drove toward the sound and as they got closer to it they began to be able to make out the words they were saying. "I SLEPT TOO LONG! I SLEPT TOO LONG! " Said the mysterious voice. " Ash and Lauren both found where the voice was coming from. The voice was coming from a cave that was about as long as a small room. "Ummm sir or madam are you ok? " Asked Ash as he walked closer to the person. The person turned around and Ash knew immediately who it was. "I have a better question, who are you? " Said the stranger. "Holy shit, wait a minute what's your name? " Asked Ash. "I'm Ash Williams, housewares. " Said Alternate reality Ash. "No way, you look like me back when I... Fought in the Middle Ages. " Said Ash in a confused tone. "It seems The Dark Ones have combined time lines so now theres two versions of you. " Said Lauren. "So what exactly happened to you, other me? " Asked Ash. "Well what happened was some wizard told me to take six drops of this sleep potion to return to my time but I accidentally took seven and now I'm here. " Said A/R Ash. Ash looked behind A/R Ash and saw 'The Delta'. "Does that thing still work? " Asked Ash. "I'm pretty sure it does. " Said A/R Ash. "Ok great so now that there are two Ash Williams's The Dark Ones are going to get their asses handed to them for sure. " Ash, Lauren, and A/R Ash drove back to The Knights of Sumeria's base and worked on A/R Ash's car and turned it into a vehicle fit for fighting The Dark Ones.