i sit in the back of the car next to fai, looking out at the window. the car is in complete silence with a faint sound of the radio playing.
it's been a long day and we are all tired. my brain is playing tricks on me and needs at least a week to process shit. i feel like i just need to lock myself in a room.
i stare out into the darkness, it's around 10pm now, we have been out for a while and we're probably still about an hour way from the apartment and Fai's house.
i scroll through twitter on my phone and automatically see random shit made up about me.
'Kendall jenner and asap rocky are dating!'
I roll my eyes at the post and click off twitter and head to instagram instead, deciding to post something.
KendallJenner
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Liked by Khloe Kardashian, YourBoiFai and 157,693 others
Unknown oooo kendallsbae angel jesslois are you dating Fai KhloeKardashian i'm in love with you BellaHadid 😻😻
"cheeky instagram post" Fai says, punching me in the arm lightly. I smile at him and nod.
"of course" i reply.
"Fai do you just wanna stay at our house tonight cause it's late?" Gigi asks and he nods. "Yeah that would probably be so much easier" he replies and smiles.
// we finally arrive back at the house after a drive that felt like forever. I quickly send Kourt a text telling her we're back and close my phone, walk to my room and pic out an oversized top and some calvin Klein underwear. It's too hot to wear anything else to bed.
"Fai you can sleep in here if you want and i'll crash in one of there beds" I tell him and he thanks me. He crawls into my bed and hugs his pillow, making me laugh.
I turn off his light and exit to the living room where Bella is stood making sure everything is turned off. She has a sports bra on and some shorts, showing her lean figure. She smiles at me and runs her hand through her hair.
"You staying in my bed?" She asks.
"Sure" I reply.
She leads me to her room and closes the door behind me. I've never actually been in her room, it's cute. She has a decent sized bed, with white sheets covering it. Next to her bed there's a few house plants. On her walls she has Vogue magazines that her and Gigi did together. It's very Bella.
"Come on" She says with a soft voice, reaching her hand out for me. I take her hand and she guides me into her bed. I lie next to her, with a small gap between us.
"Kendall? can i ask you something" Bella asks, turning onto her side so that she is facing me. I mimic her actions and lie on my side facing her.
"Yeah of course" I reply softly. She sighs and pushes my hair behind my ear.
"why can't you just accept your feelings and be with me?" She asks. I sigh and look down. I bet i'm driving her crazy honestly.
"I have accepted how i feel and i told you how i feel, i'm just scared of what other people will think, we're in this big spotlight and i don't want anything to get in the way or ruin it" I say honestly. what if me and Bella did get together and the modelling agency's and fashion designers didn't agree with that?. My career and Bella's would be over.
"I understand that, and yeah it scares the shit out of me too. But nobody would need to know ken, yeah there would be rumours but it could be our little thing. I may not show it but it kills me when i see you with other people because i know that you don't want me and i can't have you" Bella says. i frown my eyebrows and shake my head.
I rest my hand on hers and stroke it with my thumb.
"I do want you bels" I tell her. She looks at me and smiles.
"can we please just try this?" she asks.
"ok" i reply. I might as well give this a shot, i love being with Bella and i don't show it often because she makes me nervous and it makes me even more nervous when i'm around all my friends cause maybe they won't like it. But honestly who cares, if Bella is happy i'm happy.
"I love you" she tells me. "I love you too" I reply.
She puts her hand on my cheek and pulls my face closer, closing the gap between our lips. She then pulls me into her body and holds onto me tightly, like she never wants to let go.
