model; kendall jenner x bella hadid (DISCONTINUED)

eighteen

i can't believe i finally agreed to start things with Bella. I have a habit of pushing people that love me away because i'm a fuck up and secretly hate relationships.

I'm unlike my sisters, i'm just so used to being alone that i feel wrong and feel like i shouldn't have a relationship.

So it's pretty early right now and I have a Calvin Klein shoot so i'm currently on my way to that by myself. Everyone in the apartment is still asleep.

I arrive at the shoot and they immediately hand me a sports bra and some blue jeans to change into. My makeup and hair had already been done this morning, so this shoot will be pretty quick.

I lean down against the floor and do different poses, showing off my abs to the camera.
"That's amazing Kendall hold tight there" Daniel the photographer says. I can feel myself getting very anxious. My palms are sweating, my hearts beating quickly, i really hope this shoots over soon.

"Thank you Kendall, we have got it" The director tells me. I thank them and run out of the room quickly and collapse onto the floor in my dressing room.

My breathing becomes really heavy and tears stream down my face. another panic attack.

I reach into my bag, my hands shaking and reach for my phone. Scrolling through my contacts i call my mom, she will know what to do.

After a few rings she answers and i can feel myself getting worse. "Hello" she says.

"mom it's happening again" i say crying, breathing heavily.

"KHLOE RING KOURT AND TELL HER TO GET TO KENDALL IMMEDIATELY" my mom shouts. I can barely breathe properly and my panicking is getting worse and worse.

"Kourtney is coming with Bella, there rushing" Khloe says calmly. "Kendall baby deep breaths" she says again.

"Kourt, bring her home" my mom says to her on the other phone call.

Immediately the door opens and Bella rushes in with Kourtney behind her. She collapses down on the floor next to me and pulls me into her body. Kourtney grabs my phone off me and talks to mom.

"It hurts Bella" I say, tears drenching my face.

"I know, i've got you baby" she says and kisses my forehead. She keeps hold of me tight until i start calming down again finally. I look a mess, my eyes are all puffy and my face covered in melted off makeup. Bella let's go of me allowing me to stand up.

Kourtney wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug, "we're gonna go home, we all know that you need a break Kenny" she tells me and i nod in agreement. My mom has decided to cancel all the upcoming shows except the victoria secret angel show.

i feel like i need a bit to just spend time with my family and stay in my house and just get back to normality. My mental health isn't ready for me to be travelling and working non stop.

"let's go and get your stuff and the kids" Kourtney says.

We all head out of the shoot and get escorted back to Bella's apartment by our security. It's not far away at all so it will literally take like 2 minutes.

Bella opens her front door and Gigi is sat playing with mason and Penelope. As soon as she sees me she jumps up and wraps her arms tightly around me. "You'll be ok" she says reassuringly.

I feel a lot better but there's a huge chance that it will happen again because it always does, even if there's no reason. Bella brings my bag out of my room, having put everything back in it for me. i thank her and smile. I can tell she's worried because she's constantly looking at me concerned, i'm grateful.

Fai enters the room, i completely forgot he was still here. He hugs me tightly.

"love you" he says.
"love you to" i reply.

Penelope holds my hand and i grab my bag with the other. Mason and Kourtney exit the room and begin walking to the car whilst i say one last goodbye. I start to exit the apartment but stop when Bella shouts me.

"Kendall!" she says, making me turn round with penelope. She comes up to me and pecks my lips.

"I will come to LA and see you" She adds. I nod and smile before leaving the room.