Regrets and Mistakes

Part 5

"You're okay?" Jimin didn't know he was holding his breath the whole time until he walked out of the swimming pool building and his friend, Yoongi, finally asked about how he was. "What happened between you and Kim Seokjin? Do you know him?"

Jimin just stayed silent. He didn't have an answer when it came to Seokjin. He just knew that he messed up bad and that he had no will to show his face back into his life.

"This is crazy, man. You are in love with the guy" Yoongi sighed frustratedly having to deal with this kind of reaction way too often. Jimin had almost brushed it off when this topic came up. And Yoongi had enough with it and decided to finally confront his friend about it. Because he was getting worried.

Jimin stopped walking. He looked at his friend like he wanted to kneel down and cry right there. He felt so sorry about everything that he had done and all the decisions he had stupidly made. Yoongi sighed as he looked at his friend pitifully. "What really happened?"

"Let's just say I made bad decisions and I hurt him"

"Have you apologized?"

Jimin looked at Yoongi like he had just realized something worse about himself. For almost 2 years, he still hasn't said anything to Seokjin about how sorry he was back then.

He shook his head, his expression was dreadful and hopeless.

"You know that you can try to fix things right? After all, if you never try, you never know"

Jimin just thought back about that day when Seokjin had come to him, had come to his room, with his heart on his sleeves, laid out and ready to give it to him. But Jimin was stupid and was too prideful. He took it and crashed it down to the floor.

Jimin still remembered the glistening looks in Seokjin's eyes that day he told him he loved him. Jimin wanted to say it back too but he thought he knew better when in reality, he knew nothing and was an asshole stupid douche.

"He'll never forgive me for what I did to him"

There was a long silence between them. Jimin just looked so beat up and destroyed. And Yoongi could find no words to say to him so he patted his back when Jimin let his tear fall down his cheeks and he quietly sobbed into his hands.

The quiet sobs turned into a bust of roaring cries and Yoongi could see how much his friend was hurting and heartbroken about it. And Yoongi couldn't imagine just how much Jimin must have loved the boy and was so regretful about it.

Yoongi had let Jimin cry. He thought that maybe it would help Jimin to see things better and not beat himself up in his self-destructive thoughts. Maybe after crying he would realize how much he loved the boy and would at least do something about it. Maybe if he let Jimin cry for a little longer maybe he could find his courage back once again.

Yoongi continued patting his friend's back, comforting him. The sun was bright today but the breeze from the winter air was still cooling and refreshing. Yoongi looked up to the sky and thought about what a beautiful day it was.

"At least, I should go and apologize to him right?"

Yoongi smiled hugely at his friend whose eyes were red and swollen from the crying.

"I was really an arsehole back then. But I really want to be with him and protect him and... love him"

Yoongi had known Jimin ever since they were a freshman. And when Jimin had this fire in his eyes, he would never let it burn down without trying or achieving it.

"Yeah I think you should start by apologizing to him"

And Yoongi had never seen Jimin ever be so enthusiastic about anything ever like this.

Jimin began to wipe his tears from his cheeks and nodded determinedly before waving Yoongi a goodbye and running to the Art major building.