Love Of Lust

Chapter Ten

Becky's POV

For a moment, he was still; surprised, I supposed, at my forwardness. But the hesitation only lasted for a split second before I felt his hand slide around the back of my head, pulling me in aggressively, and it seemed the only appropriate response was to let my lips part against his.

He took the invitation immediately, his tongue slipping into my mouth and exploring the territory, and I felt a shiver of pure bliss run down my spine. Within moments, I was completely lost in him - forgetting where I was, and why I was here.

I was throbbing. I needed him more than I had ever needed anything.
I leaned into him, deepening the kiss even further. When we broke apart to catch our breath, I expected him to say something - to object, even if it was just half-hearted - but his eyes were dark and fierce and single-minded.

There was nothing in his face but pure lust. I melted. He coaxed me down onto the carpet with the movement of his body, stretching over mine, until he was lying on top of me.

I could feel him rock-hard and straining in his jeans.

Oh, God. This was really going to happen. My head was buzzing with arousal and disbelief, and to this day I still don't know what possessed me to look him directly in the eye and say, in a breathy voice: "Thank you."

The look on his face made my heart sink. He pulled away, his expression twisted with something like disgust. At me? At himself? I didn't know. I wasn't sure I wanted to. I sat up quickly.

"What's wrong?" I felt frantic. I was so close to having what I wanted, and he'd ripped it away from me. Why? What had I done? He shook his head, looking at the floor.

"This isn't a good idea," he said, flatly. Well, no shit it wasn't. I sat up quickly.

"You didn't seem to care a few minutes ago," I said, starting to feel desperate. "I lost my head for a second," he said.

"I'm sorry. I really am. But we can't do this." I sat, miserable and motionless, on the floor as he gathered his things. He'd been planning to drive the first load over to his apartment after lunch anyway, but something told me he wouldn't be back again today. After he shut the door behind him, my massaging shower head got the workout of a lifetime.

Once my head was clearer, I became determined that I wasn't going to let that happen again. If he was going to have an attack of conscience just because I said something silly, well, that was his problem. Did he really think I was the kind of person to have sex with someone purely out of gratitude? Had he not been able to tell how aroused I was? How badly I wanted him? He was an idiot to walk away from all that, no matter how complicated it might make our arrangement.

The next morning, bright and early, my phone started to ring. I let him call a few times before I picked up.

"I was going to come over in half an hour with the truck," he said, without so much as a greeting. "If that's convenient for you."

"Sure," I said, coolly. The pizza box was still on the floor when I walked out into the living room. I crushed it angrily and shoved it into the garbage.

When I opened the door, he actually looked a little bit sheepish.

"About last night," he started, and I cut him off with a raised hand.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "I was out of line. No explanation necessary." He seemed to accept this, but as we packed up the rest of my worldly belongings, I could feel him watching me carefully.

After he dropped me back off in my mostly-empty apartment, I walked through the suddenly unfamiliar rooms in silence for a while before collapsing on my bed. It was one of the few things that didn't need to come with me - of course.
But if he thought I was actually going to sleep in his bed with him after yesterday, he was crazy. I wasn't sure if that had ever been in the cards. I'd thought about it, of course - several times, and in exquisite detail - but unless I wanted it to end like yesterday had, it was obviously best if we never let ourselves get that close.