I Jus' Like Yew, I Guess (2D x reader)

Well Shit

You wake up on top of a cold hard mattress. Like you probably woke up from discomfort because of it. It takes you a little bit to adjust to your surroundings, but when you do, you are met with a teenaged girl with dark purple hair. She looked pretty Asian as well, not to be racist.

"AHHHGGGH! SON OF A BITCH!" You scream, alarming the girl in front of you.

"AAHHH! MURDOC! SHE'S UUUUP!" She shouts. She had a thick Japanese accent and it definitely showed.

"Aggh, really? Let me see." This guy who seems to be "Murdoc" comes into view, a strong scent of alcohol and cologne filling your nose as soon as he even went near. He had green skin and greasy black hair and he wore an upside-down cross necklace. He was also shirtless. I don't know why he just was. I mean he's Murdoc, after all. What do you expect?

"What the hell? What the HELL? What the hell?!" You panic.

"Ay. Don' worry 'bout it, luv. You'll be fine." He says in a gruff voice, trying to reassure you into thinking everything was ok dandy, which really wasn't working.

"I-I-I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" You scream while trying to squirm away.

"All right. I give up. HEY FACEACHE! GIT YER ASS OVER HERE BEFORE I BEAT IT TO A PULP! YA HEAR ME!?"

"I'M COMING! I'M COMING." Then came the recognizable blue hair and black eyes of Stuart, motherfucking, Pot.

"AAAAAAAHHHHGHGHH! WHAT THE HELL DID YEW DO TA ME, YA FOKIN' PRICK?!" You scream weirdly.

"Aaaaahhh. Don't yell at meee. Mu'doc did it."

"Ay, ya did yer fair share of it."

"But yew made me do it!"

Murdoc pauses. "Shut up."

"No! I refuse."

"WELL HAVE A NICE TIME TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS THEN!"

"GLADLY! I FINK I MIGHT JUS' SIDDOWN AND GET COMFORTABLE!"

You blankly stare at the two men fighting over... this... entire... situation and you're just, completely at loss of words for whatever the hell is happening at the moment and you really want to just, consume a handful of painkillers and just go to bed forever.

2D gets a chair from... somewhere and he sits in it and folds his hands in front of his face and he takes a deep breath. "Okay so, Mu'doc, 'ere, 'e's kinda weird and I guess 'e was lookin' for sum more people to 'elp out wif da band and apparently 'e finks 'itting innocent people 'cross da 'ead is da way ta do it."

Murdoc groans and puts his hands on his face in presumably frustration of the amounts of sass that was coming from 2D's conversation hole.

"Dude, I would love to do that. That sounds awesome. Ya could've just asked." You said to Murdoc as you sat up. "Just, stop touching my shit... please."

Murdoc looks up from your bag of things. "Whut?"

You groan and slide out of the bed and you stomp over to Murdoc and your stuff, and you quickly snatch your things from the pickle man's hands.

The Murdoc stares at you in confusion, the confusion turning to absolute mischief. "Ay 2D! The girl's got painkillers!"

2D starts smiling at you. "Can I 'ave som?"

"Nnnooooo! They're mine."

"Awww pweeeeeeease! Just one?"

"Nooooooo! I will not give you any!"

"But I ran ooooouuuuut!" 2D starts chasing you around the room like a damn maniac. Not a homicidal maniac, rather a painkiller addicted maniac that's chasing around another painkiller addicted maniac of which happens to be yourself for the painkillers that you've got in your bag because I guess he ran out. I dunno. I'm just watching all this happen.

"BITCH, GIT YER OWN!"

Murdoc sat down on an armchair and starts cackling over the strange fight between you and 2D. I mean, who would blame him? It was fucking hilarious. Even Russel who was just sitting down, reading some book about taxidermy let out a few chuckles here and there. After a while though you guys kinda just started ruining shit and it wasn't really funny anymore at that point so Russ proceeded to break it up because of reasons.

"Alright, alright. Break it up you two." Russel picks you both up by the shirts, leaving you and 2D to flail your arms and legs at each other. You both manage to relax and Russel put you down first. "Noodle, keep this girl from 2D."

"MY NAME IS Y/N YOU WEIRD EYED JUNKIE! AND I'M 33! I'M A DAMN WOMAN DAMMIT!"

"Uhh, yeah. Sure." Russ responds. You pout and roll up some weed and stick it in your mouth and you blaze it and you sit down with your arms crossed, unfolding them every once in a while to remove the blunt from your mouth to let out the weird weed smoke from your lungs and you mumble something that I cannot begin to tell you about cuz I haven't got the slightest idea whatsoever.

Russel puts 2D down in a chair and turns to face you. "My name's Russel." Russel sits back down and pulls out his book and continues reading.

Noodle peeks out from over your shoulder. "And mai name is Noodle. こにちわ！"

"And I'm Murdoc Niccals!" Murdoc bellows proudly. He then starts a musical number and is singing about how it's HIS band and useless crap like that. I mean, he was pretty drunk so what would you expect?

After Murdoc's drunken musical number, it was the Stuart's turn to introduce himself. "Yeah, Hi. I'm 2D. I'm sure you know of me already. We talked in da cafe the 'ova day."

"AND IIIII'M Y/N! AND I AM NOT SPECIAL WHATSOEVER! I JUST EXIST FOR SOME ODD REASON!" You scream. Everybody just stares at you. "Yeah..." Gay silence... "Anyway, what am I doin'? I'm gettin' hungry. Prolly 'cuz the weed but I also haven't eaten all day so I mean..."

Murdoc sorta pointed at you and 2D and squinted. "You two know each other?"

"Yeah we do. Now get meh some food 'cuz I am literally willing to eat a man right now."

"Weeeell then, that must be very interesting. Now lemme show you around." Murdoc grabs your arm and starts dragging you around the studio.

"Cool. THEN I can eat?"

"Yeah sure, whatever. I'll get 2D to get us some pizza later or somethin'."

"Cool."

Aight. I'm finally done. I was gonna finish this yesterday but... school... yeah. Stupid school. Good thing where I live I don't gotta go to school on Fridays so that's good. Uhhh, yeah. I'm gonna go do something else now. Bye.