texting you | jeon jungkook √

eighty two.

wednesday
5:50am

jungkook❤:

jungkook

jungkook❤:
somin I promise that i'm coming over right now

somin?

who said this was somin

jungkook❤:
fuck.

why didn't you come save her

she was crying and telling me about how much she loves you and how much she hates me

if only the words she said were switched around. but they will be soon

jungkook❤:
what can I do to make you leave her alone? just any way to get her away from you.

don't you know there's nothing. there is no way out. she's all mine now and I can do whatever I want with her. especially her body

jungkook❤:
don't fucking talk about somin like that.

I know her more than you. she isn't dumb enough to listen to what you want her to do. im hoping you know that

jungkook. you don't know me do you

jungkook❤:
well I know that you're a psycho who's kidnapping an innocent person.

you're kidnapping her. do you know that?

of course. I'll do anything to get her away from you jungkook

jungkook❤:
hoseok why do you hate me

what did I even do to you

I hate that she loves you. why you and why not me. everything bad you have done to her and she still comes back to you. why can't she be like that to me?

jungkook❤:
that's why?

I'm jealous of how much she cares about you, talks about, thinks about you and loves you.

jungkook❤:
well yes because I'm jungkook

you're so fucking stupid do you know that? and that makes me hate you even more.

you don't deserve someone like somin. a beautiful person who is too precious for you. she always cares about others and will never fail or hesitate to make others happy before she can make herself happy. your problems always comes before hers. perfect. she is too gentle. will forgive you if you mean a lot to her. loyal, kind, and loving.

and she picks you. a cheater. a self centered ass hole who can't treat a girl like somin right. will apologise but still make the same mistake over again. snobby. arrogant. you think you're such a perfect human but in reality you're just selfish. jungkook who "loves" too easily. "loves" people who actually deserve love but you'll always break them sooner or later. like they were nothing to you. It's like it's a game to you. somin was a game to you. you don't deserve somin.

what an amazing contrast.

jungkook❤:
you're right. i don't deserve her.

I really don't. I shouldn't be the one saving her because I'm too self centered to care about anyone else. I shouldn't be doing all of this because I'm selfish. I shouldn't be risking my own life for someone I love because I'll break them sooner or later, right?

exactly. I've found out who I am in other people's eyes. and somin's.

I may not be the one for her but that doesn't mean I can't love her. I know she doesn't deserve me and I knew this since the beginning but I still went for her because I needed her to know that I'm here for her.

and i know that my love for her may not show because of my actions but deep down I'm in love with her.

somin needs someone better than me. someone who can show her love the way it's supposed to be. im a fucking ass hole and she shouldn't be thinking about me right now. she should be thinking of someone who can treat her like how she is supposed to be treated.

yes i am selfish, arrogant and i treat love like a game.

I don't deserve her.

there is no point in trying to save her. don't even bother come. why should you save her when a better man could do the same.

i guess i won't be seeing you anytime soon jungkook.

jungkook❤:
you won't.

i tried my best for her.

————————————————

I found myself back in the same place where I once felt like everything was going to turn out fine. Now I've returned with pain. Returned with only myself and not what I was expecting to have. The feeling is indescribable. It's like a dream that you were just steps away from achieving but then you fall back where the first step was. Where it all began. It's a long way to get back up and it's disgraceful that you can't revive yourself.

I found myself gripping my phone in anger. Anger that sooner turned into sadness. Sadness that sooner turned into pain. I hate that I let Hoseok's words stab me in the chest. Taking every lash into me. It was so embedded in me that I started to believe his psychotic words. They ran in my head, becoming even more alive and overfilling my head space. How I wanted Hoseok's words to be jealousy but it was spitting jealousy that overlapped into hurtful truths.

I found myself wanting to forget about Somin. A person who had made my nothingness into something. Something that was in me, but was too hurt to show it. A person who knew my strengths and my weaknesses. Weaknesses that I didn't want to reveal to hide who I really was. A person who fixed me even though I broke her. I broke her. I knew this but I purposely let it go like it was nothing important. Why does she love me? Why can't she love someone who can show her what she's deserves? Why did I have to ruin how she views her love? Why did she stay with me?

I found myself driving away. I let my thoughts go away. I let my feelings go away. I let Somin go away.

Leaving yourself where you don't belong isn't right for you.

Somin isn't right for you.

valentines day was yesterday. i hate that day so much

so how are we feeling about the concept photos?? the 2nd and 4th ones are definitely my favourites

aaand whoever already got tickets for the tour, you lot are lucky 😔