Risk

Chapter XXI

Jasta took a deep, steadying breath before she turned around, dreading what she would see, and not knowing which of her ideas was the worst. Her heart thudded and she felt uncomfortable and hot. How would she ever escape?

Her chest tightened. It was Rowan. She had seen and felt first-hand what he could do. she was sure he was faster than she was.

But he didn't look mad, not like he had when he'd attacked her back at the inn. He simply looked tired, like he had looked all day. She took another deep breath, waiting. A beat of silence passed. She couldn't take it.

"What?" she kept the tremble from her voice.

"I understand that you hate me, and that's fine, but I really am trying to get you back home. I want you to understand that. I'm doing my best." The look in his eyes was sincere, but to her, that simply convinced her that he was lying. He was too good an actor to believe anything he said.

She pulled away, glaring at him and rubbing the spot on her arm where he had grabbed. It wasn't sore, but she wanted him to think it was.

"Jasta, don't—"

"No! I don't believe you. I can't believe you. You're a liar!" She cut him off, practically spitting out the words. She hated the way that she almost believed the look on his face. It was so real. And that convinced her that it was fake. He was a seasoned liar and she couldn't trust him as far as she could throw him.

"Jasta—"

"Shut up!" she cut him off again. She didn't want to hear another one of his lies. She felt like she had been basting in lies since she left home. She wouldn't tolerate another single lie if she could help it.

"No, you shut up. You listen to me." The fierceness in his voice surprised her. She took a step back, which left her pressed against the tent. "I've tried my best, I really have. I don't care if you hate me, I don't care if you never talk to me again, but don't call me a liar, don't think I'm a liar." He closed his eyes and shook his head, a tiny sigh escaping his pursed lips. "I thought when I left that I would finally get away from this, but if anything, it's worse now."

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She was dumbstruck and she could hardly process what he was saying. He had never lost his temper like this before. She didn't know what to say. Was there a possibility that he was telling the truth? She studied her feet. It couldn't be true, and she didn't believe it. But for a second, she allowed herself to think of what it would mean if it was true. She had been treating him so badly...

"I wish I could do everything perfectly, I wish you didn't hate me, but that's the story of my life, it always has been, and I guess it always will be. I try as hard as I can, and no matter what I do, I'm still treated like dirt." At first, his voice was angry, and he spoke through clenched teeth, but as he went on the anger dwindled. His voice cracked.

She couldn't believe this. This had to be another lie...

She looked up at his face again. His eyes—black in the scanty light—were gleaming. He was crying or at least tearing up. As she watched, he brushed at his face angrily with the back of his hand. Maybe it wasn't acting after all. She felt strangely cold.

"You can sleep now." he shook his head and turned away. From the sound of his voice, he was only just keeping it from breaking again. He started to walk away, and he faded into the shadows quickly.

"Wait..." she sighed.

"I don't want to hear any more about how awful I am, or how many times you think I've lied. Just go to bed and leave me alone." But despite his words, she had managed to get him to stop walking.