Risk

Chapter XXXVIII

It seemed to be the biggest meal Jasta had ever eaten, and by the time she finished with the bowl of watery soup, she was stuffed. It was probably due to the water she'd had before eating, but she felt as if she couldn't eat another bite. She realized with a slight shock that she would now be able to have regular meals at normal times of the day, without waiting until the end of a long day of traveling or having to wait until they reached the next village to buy the food. It felt like a luxury, even though she'd had it before.

Then she shook herself out of the drowsy fullness and stood up. She had to go check on Rowan. She probably should have done it before eating, especially after hearing the news from her mother that he hadn't seemed to have stirred.

Then she stopped because a sudden thought occurred to her. "Where's Rose?"

"She went hunting." Mother looked up from her sewing, which she'd only just started again after Jasta's interruption.

Jasta nodded. The thought made her breath catch slightly. Rose had probably been suddenly forced to learn how to hunt after Jasta disappeared. She would have to make sure to take over the responsibility again soon.

She turned towards the door to her room again, and as she did it occurred to her for the first time that they hadn't changed it. The room seemed exactly the same as it had before Jasta had been kidnapped. Rose hadn't moved in, and they hadn't started using it for storage, which meant they were either respecting her death or something of that sort, or they had been expecting her return the whole time. She didn't know which thought was worse.

She hurried her faltering steps onward, and slowly opened the door. Rowan was still on the bed, almost exactly like she had left him, sleeping soundly. There was nothing to indicate that he had woken up at all, but then she caught sight of a bowl near the foot of the bed. It had once contained soup of the same kind she'd just eaten, but was now long empty. Rowan had been awake at least once since she left, which was a good sign.

She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. She still felt like it wasn't the best decision to stay, but now that she'd stayed for a day, she didn't want to leave again. She would have to ask Rowan when he woke up. If he said he didn't want to stay, then she would leave right away.

But then again, she could hardly even bear to think about the looks on everyone's faces if she said she was going to leave again.

She let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her face. She couldn't decide just yet. She would have to wait for her turbulent feelings to calm down before she could decide anything. If she didn't, she would end up making a rash and hurried decision based on her emotions, and she would surely regret it later.

She tried to think of something else. Anything else, just to get her mind off of the eventual choice she would have to make. She found her mind drifting to when Rowan had kissed her.

She hadn't thought much about it since then, what with how busy she'd been, but now that she had nothing better to think about...

Why had he kissed her? She still didn't understand that part. She hadn't done anything to show feelings towards him, had she? Or maybe she had, and he had only kissed her because it was what she wanted. She didn't know. She just knew that she had liked it. She didn't know if that was a bad thing or a good thing or what. Maybe she should ask her mother?

She didn't know. Thinking about it was almost as confusing as thinking about staying versus leaving. Her cheeks felt hot.

She glanced sideways to look at Rowan, but she almost fell off the bed in shock when she saw that his eyes were open, and he was watching her. A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't think of any words to say. What was she supposed to say? She could apologize, seeing as she had probably woken him up. Yes, that seemed like a good idea, but before she could say anything, Rowan laughed.

She closed her mouth and then opened it again before finally managing a word. "What?"

"You looked so confused, I couldn't help but laugh." He said quietly, smiling just a tad more. The words seemed familiar, and with a start, she realized that he was quoting her. She had said those exact words to him, but it had been at pretty much the very start of their journey to Yarul. She was surprised she remembered the conversation. Back when she still believed Rowan to be an evil Risk. The thought brought a smile to her face.

Then she remembered that she had woken him up. "Sorry." She finally managed to say the simple word.

"For what?" Rowan sat up, wincing.

"Waking you up." she frowned.

"It was about time I woke up anyways." He shrugged, then clearly regretted it. A soft grunt escaped his lips.

"Are you okay?" she asked immediately, biting her lip.

"I'm just sore, I'll be fine."

"Really? I don't want you to lie just because you don't want me to get sad or mad or- or whatever." She frowned deeper, meeting his gaze and studying his expression to try and detect a lie.

"Jasta, I will be fine. I'm not lying." He seemed honest, but then again, she had never really been able to tell with him.

"Okay." She nodded and took a deep breath, but her breath caught in her throat when Rowan wrapped his arms around her.

"I promise." He said quietly, hugging her closer. She nodded wordlessly. She really hoped he was telling the truth.

"How would you feel about meeting my family for real?" Jasta asked after a bit. She would rather they didn't hate each other, even if they were always a bit scared of him. She would do everything she could to prevent that, though.

He hesitated. She could feel his mouth opening against her shoulder, but he didn't say anything for a while.

"Okay." He finally spoke.

"Right now?"

"Well, if you want."

She nodded. "Sounds good. Maybe they'll allow you to eat meals out there." She smiled slightly.

To her relief, he chuckled. "Perhaps they will."

"I'd like that." Her smile broadened.

"Shall we go?"

"Okay, but you have to promise not to eat them. They would never forgive you." she looked up at him with the straightest face she could manage.

"Of course." He said, almost haughtily. "But I can't promise I won't accidentally plunder their belongings."

He released her from his hug and she stood up. "Just try and resist for a bit." She said with a wink.

"Oh I'll try, but I have such a violent nature." He shrugged and stood up next to her.

She gave a short laugh, and Rowan smiled in return before taking her hand and walking towards the door. She had no real choice but to follow, or he would just end up dragging her along behind him. It almost felt strange seeing Rowan stand in a place that was so familiar. It was like two worlds that had never touched were suddenly merging in on each other.

She thought back. Before she'd been kidnapped, she would never have guessed in her wildest dreams that things would turn out the way they had. She wished they could have gone a bit better, sure, but she felt it was worth it. She had met Rowan, after all.