Risk

Chapter XXXVI

Jasta was torn, unable to choose what she should tell her mother. Both options seemed just as bad, and she dreaded having to choose between them. This was definitely not how her envisioned homecoming had gone. She felt worn out and weary, and she hated that she was leaving again, but she had no choice. The villagers that had once been so near and dear to her heart had made it all too clear how they felt about Rowan, and now she had merged their two fates together, so whatever happened to Rowan would happen to her, which meant she was leaving with him. She just wished that her mother hadn't interfered, because that would have made her departure so much easier.

She sighed. "I'm sorry... I can't let you come with me. I can't put you in danger like that." She looked at the ground, fighting the tears that were eager to flow down her cheeks.

Jasta looked up when the sound of many footsteps and low murmuring touched her ears, and she was surprised and a bit angry to see that the remainder of the crowd that had not gone home was coming towards her, with Sirah, the butcher, in the lead. She knew that he had always been the most outspoken against Risks, as he had once been robbed by a group of them—or so he said. And for that reason, she was reasonably sure that they were coming to try and persuade her to stay, or even try to condemn Rowan in her eyes.

Mother and Rose stepped to the side to allow the crowd to get closer.

"Jasta..." Sirah started, but his voice trailed off into nothing. Jasta scowled. She was very sure now that whatever they had to say was nothing she wanted to hear.

Etta pushed her way to the front, frowning at the rest of them. "Jasta, what he's trying to say is that they—we're all sorry. We should have trusted you when you first told us that your friend wasn't dangerous." She shot a glare at the crowd in general.

"You don't have to apologize, dear." It was Etta's mother, Henir, who stepped forward now, and she faced Jasta after touching Etta's arm lightly. "Jasta, dear, she tried to stop all of the others from taking your friend. She's clean of this whole business." She stepped even farther away from the rest of the crowd.

Jasta simply frowned deeper in response. She saw no reason to believe them. They would still be scared of him no matter what they said. She could see it in their eyes.

"Please, dear. We are all very sorry... we thought he was one of them that hurt you." Her voice was soft and pleading, just like her own mother's voice had been just moments before. Her hand stayed lightly in contact with Etta.

"Well, he isn't, and according to you, not only I, but Etta as well, tried to say that he wasn't, and you didn't listen. You could have killed him, and in your hearts, you wanted to, and that is as good as if you really had done it, and for that, I can't forgive you." She kept her voice level, though she felt a tremble in her hands.

"Please don't go, Jasta." This was Etta again. "We want you here. Ro- Rowan can stay too, but just don't... just don't go." she sounded close to tears.

Jasta tried to keep a straight face, and she forced her hands to stop shaking, but inside she felt like a storm was tearing her slowly apart. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say? After that, she didn't know. She knew that they all meant what they said with this, but she also knew for a fact that they would probably always be scared of Rowan, if only a little bit. And she didn't want him to have to live with that.

"I can't..." she shook her head, not really sure what she had been about to say. And instead of finishing, she simply started to walk. She pushed her way past the crowd and walked some more. She walked all the way back into the woods, and then over to the place where she had left Rowan.