Ghost of You

Panic Attacks

"And there you have it! The US wins over the Netherlands in a 3-2 victory"

I smile as Lindsey hops on my back after the final whistle blows signalling our win. We start shaking hands with the Netherlands players. I was just after shaking hands with their goalie when I hear Tori laugh loudly.

I look up to to see Tori tumble onto the pitch as Jill Roord and Danielle Van De Donk jump on top of her. Vivianne Miedema standing beside them shaking her head at her club teammates laughing until she eventually pulls the two off her.

When Tori gets back up she hugs Miedema having to go on her tippy toes to reach until Viv rolled her eyes and picked her up so her feet were dangling above the ground cashing Tori to throw her head back laughing.

"Hey you okay?" I feel a hand land on my shoulder. I look over at Kelley briefly before looking back over at the Arsenal bunch. "Hey she is just talking to her teammates. Nothing is going on" Kelley reassures pulling me into a side hug. I nod my head my gaze not breaking from the group.

She seems so happy with them.

"Cmon we have to walk a lap" Kelley sighs gently tugging me towards the edge of the field. We started talking about how the game went when I heard a huge commotion to our right.

We look ahead to see a fan jump the barrier and sprints into the field. None of the security guards seemed to notice until it was too late and started to chase after her but she was faster. The girl runs towards Tori who's back is to the fan as she walks towards Christen away from the Netherlands players.

"Shit" I whisper as I realised what's about to happen and I break Kelley's hold on me and book it towards Tori. The fan practically jumps on top of Tori causing her to stumble forward. The giddy fans latches onto her as she starts to rapidly speak to her holding out a pen while also taking pictures of Tori.

It is obvious that Tori is frazzled and uncomfortable but that doesn't stop the fan as she continues to jump around her snapping pictures of her and hugging her. It seems like the Netherlands players realise what's happening and go to help.

Van de donk is the first there as she pulls her off of Tori while the other follow behind her putting some distance between Tori and the crazed fan. When I reach Tori her breathing is already heavy and her eyes are squeezed shut and she clutches her chest.

She's having a panic attack

I catch her just as her legs give out underneath her. I quickly pick her up and carry her to the players tunnel trying to get away from the prying eyes of the cameras while whispering soft reassurances in her ear, "It's okay T. Your safe now. No one's going to hurt you. Your safe".

I can feel her shake against my chest and my jersey starting to get wet indicating hers crying. "It's okay T. I won't let anyone else hurt you" I whisper as I kiss her head trying to speed up.

I curse under my breath as when I get into the tunnel I see a bunch of reporters waiting there. I hold Tori tighter to my chest as her face is buried in my neck. All at once all the reporters shout out questions trying to shove their microphones in my face. I try to push my way through the people but they continue to try shove a microphone down my throat.

"Hey! Everyone back up! Let them pass!" Eventually with the help of security (and an angry Kelley and Katie Nolan) they all back down.

I swiftly go into our locker room and sit her in the table in the centre of the room as I stand in between her legs. "Hey hey it's all over now. It's okay" I whisper as I card my fingers through her hair and rub her back. "Just follow my breathing okay? In and out. In and out. That's it keep going. There you go" I instruct as I lean my forehead against her remembering all the times I've done this before.