Queen Elsa's Struggle

Chapter 9

"Conceal, don't feel," I chanted to myself as I stared up at my parent's old portrait, "I wish I couldn't feel at the moment. Feelings are too...complicated."

"They can also be wonderful," a familiar voice said behind me. It was Erik.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I will get out of your way so you can clean," I said walking towards the door.

"Oh I didn't come in here to clean," he spoke, "I'm here for the same reason you are."

I looked at him, he was smiling at me. "And why am I here?" I asked.

"For advise, for comfort, to talk to someone about your problems," he said from the heart as he too stared at my parent's picture.

He was right about why I was there though. "I could've stopped them that day....from setting sail on that stupid sea," I explained, "if they were here, then....then...."

"Then you wouldn't still be best friends with your sister, Anna wouldn't have met Kristof, and you would still be stuck in that room like you always were," Erik said as he walked closer to me.

I broke down crying. I greatly surprised myself by doing this. I fell to the ground, but then I was caught in Erik's arms. His strong arms wrapped around my cold body. My head rested on his shoulder and his hand gently rubbed against my back. I was so embarrassed but the tears just kept coming. I usually try to never cry in front of people but today I did...but why him? Why in front of Erik? Do I have feelings for him too?

"Elsa, don't ever doubt yourself. You are an incredible queen and a beautiful woman. You are very independent too, which isn't always bad, but you don't have to do everything alone. You have family, you have your people, you have friends....you have me," he spoke so smoothly.

I slowed down my breathing so that I might be able to talk with out sniffling too much. "Thank you," I said looking up into his eyes, "for everything."

Our faces were so close that I could hear and feel his breath. I feared that he was going to kiss me, and at a time I believe he was going to, but he pulled himself back. "It is my pleasure," he said as he helped me stand up again.

He kept holding my hand even as we stood. "Um," I coughed as I put my eyes in the direction of his hand in mine.

"Oh," he said releasing my hand, "my bad." He sort of chuckled. "Well, my lady, is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"No, sir, I think....wait," I paused, "actually there might be something. Do you know much about markets in Arendelle that does exports?"

"I might, but what's in it for me?" Erik smiled. Oh why do men always have to get something to do something?

"That depends, what is it that you want?" I asked, also smiling.

"How about a large raise and lots of fresh wooden logs?" He debated.

"How about a small raise and some logs?" I argued.

"Fine," Erik sighed, "I'll help you for that morsel."

I giggled some at his brief sarcasm. "Great! Then show me the way."