Falling Behind - A Twice AU

My Best Friend

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

Sana-unnie didn't move for what felt like forever. Even when I pulled back, even when I let go of her shoulders, she stared at me with the most shocked expression I'd ever seen on her face.

It... looked so familiar.

I glanced down since I didn't know where to look. Everything in my body felt so hot as shame washed over me. My hands held one another tightly as I felt like crying on the inside.

Why did I kiss her?

After what seemed like a lifetime, Sana-unnie finally stood up. I couldn't bear lifting my head up to face her.

"Good night, Y/N-ah," she said in a dead tone before walking off with her plate.

My right hand reached out to grab her, but my fingers never closed. I let her walk to the sink, give her plate to Chaeyoung and Dahyun-unnie, and leave for her room.

Sadness wasn't the only feeling that invaded my heart.

I also felt anger.

How could I mess up so badly? I was so stupid. I was so stupid. I was so... so...

You know what you are? Stupid. Idiotic. A failure.

I bit down on my lip as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I quickly grabbed the rest of the plates and brought them over to the dishwashers. I heard them call my name, but I kept moving. A cry wanted to come out and I wouldn't let it do so in front of my unnies.

After everything I've done for you, you're leaving to be an idol?!

I hold my head in my hands as I traverse through the upstairs hallway, opening my bedroom door before closing it shut. I looked around for Tzuyu, but she thankfully wasn't there.

You did so well in school! Why do you want to throw it all away?!

I went over to the bedroom window and opened it as tears leaked down, feeling on the edge of a breakdown. I climbed out onto the roof before shutting the window behind me, moving to the side of the house that faced the city.

I dropped to my knees when I arrived near the edge and let my emotions take over.

/—/ /—/ /—/

There was an explosive smack after eomma's hand slapped me hard across the face. I held the left side of my face as I glanced back at her with widened eyes.

"You're a disappointment," she stated coldly.

I shook my head and began to cry my heart out.

"Eomma, please don't say that!" I shouted as my heart began to break into small pieces.

Her expression remained unfazed. "I should've known that allowing you to become a trainee would get in the way of your future. You told me you were going to leave that path when the time came for university! You said it was only there as a temporary thing! And now this?!"

Eomma began to cry as anger filled her eyes.

I never felt so ashamed of myself.

"I'm... I'm sorry, eomma. But, university isn't something that I want to do anymore. I-I found passion, true passion, in becoming an idol. There's so many great people in the pop industry and I-"