Stay - Stray Kids Han Jisung FF (RESQ SAGA PART 3)

109.

Just as scheduled, a psychologist had come to visit me at the dorm instead of me going out because they said they wanted me to be in a place where I felt comfortable and "safe" so that things could go as smoothly as possible and, well, so they could get me talking more easily.

The psychologist was very careful and patient with me the whole time. She knew I wouldn't start talking as soon as she stepped in but I had also told her that I was willing to try to open up as much as I possibly could because I really wanted and needed to fix everything in my life and I knew for a fact that talking was one of the biggest steps.

"Let's talk about your current relationships now..." she asked me. "We already know what the root of the problem is, but we also need to get to know what is amplifying it even more and it actually may be because of your current relationships."

"So... I basically now just hang out with my groupmates and the Stray Kids boys," I told her. "I love them to death and we care about each other a lot, so that's good. They are the people I go to whenever something is wrong."

"Are there any specific people within the groups? It's normal to rely on certain people, don't worry," she assured me.

"Well... in the case of the boys it's Jisung for sure and then probably Minho although I'm not too sure. Jisung is the only clear one," I admitted. "In the girls' case... I think I rely on them for different things. Probably the ones I've opened up to the most are Soojin and Leah, though. The reason for Soojin being that we are the same age and I find it very easy to talk to her and Leah..."

"Maybe because she is older than you? A sisterly figure?" she asked me.

"Yes, it could be. Mika is also older than me but she already carries the weight of the whole group so I always think twice before ranting to her about my problems or my thoughts as she already has enough to deal with," I confessed. "And with Lin, although I love being with her, I still see her as a younger sister and feel like I should be the one taking care of her and not vice-versa."

"I think it makes a lot of sense," she told as she wrote down some notes. "I don't know if you have realised, but you pointed out that the two people who you go to for advice are actually two opposite people. Leah is older than you while Soojin is younger and Leah is the member of the group who is most different from you in terms of personality while Soojin and you are similar in some aspects. It's almost as if, subconsciously, you wanted the two versions of the story when looking for advice."

I had never really noticed that before but she was indeed very right. I thought it was just coincidental based on the reasons for talking to Mika and Lin less than them, but it seemed to be more than just a simple coincidence.

"Let's now go back to the boys," she said. "You said the one you talk to the most is Jisung, right?"

"Yes, he is," I confirmed.

"Why?"

"Well... he was literally the first person who I talked to and also was there for me since the beginning. We are almost the two only introverts within both groups, maybe along Hyunjin although I don't know, so I guess that brought us together in a way," I told her. "We are very good friends."

"Alix, don't lie to your psychologist," she said with a smirk. "There's no point in doing this if you lie to me."

"What? I didn't lie!" I exclaimed confused.

"You two aren't friends, are you?" she explained. "It doesn't take much to realise so. He is literally waiting for us to finish right next door when he lives just above."

"Okay, don't tell JYP," I pleaded her.

"I don't discuss the matters of these sessions with anyone, Alix. I will just tell him what my conclusions are. What we talk about here is just between you and me," she told me. "Now, when did you two start dating?"