Stay - Stray Kids Han Jisung FF (RESQ SAGA PART 3)

122.

Lion's first win seemed to have opened the doors for more wins to come and we were all very nervous and excited about it. In the middle of promotions, the Stray Kids boys would be having their concerts in Korea but that didn't stop us from going to either of them. 

On Saturday, we won on Show! Music Core again and the music video for 'Adios' was released, so the concert was definitely one of the best ways to celebrated and on Sunday, although we lost against Mamamoo, we would be going too and have fun.

Right after the show finished, the girls and I directly headed with Yeongjae to the Olympic hall to see them. They would probably be doing the Hi! Touch by the time we arrived, so we would wait for them backstage to wish them good luck before going to our seats, as we had done the previous day.

"I'm not going to lie, the boys seemed a little down yesterday and it worries me," Mika said as we were driving there. "Can Alix hear me?"

"I don't think so, she normally keeps her volume high," Soojin, who was sitting next to me, told her.

I had been looking out of the window with my headphones on up until that moment when I didn't take them off but did turn off the music so I could hear them. I was curious as to why she didn't want me to hear it but I knew that saying I was would make her stop the conversation, so I just eavesdropped.

"It's obviously because of Woojin," Mika finally said. "They are doing the tour without him and have had to change all of the formations and line distributions. It's obvious why they aren't okay."

"I don't know if I should be telling you this, but Changbin told me they have all been trying to pretend to be okay especially for Alix," Leah said shocking me. "They are afraid of making things worse for her. Especially after that day at their dorm when she had the nightmares."

"We are all a mess..." Soojin said and sighed. "Everyone seems to be pretending these days. We aren't singers anymore, we are just a bunch of actors."

"I think Jisung is actually one of the worst ones, to be honest," Lin said. "He has been acting strange ever since it happened. He only really talks to Alix and always stays beside her pretending he is okay, but as soon as she leaves he goes back to being silent and gloomy. Same thing with Hyunjin although not as drastic."

Those words had me so shocked that I really wanted to take my headphones off and ask the girls about it, but I knew I had to pretend to not be listening and just stared out of the window as I thought. 

I couldn't believe any of them were pretending to be okay just so I wasn't worse, but Jisung's case obviously hurt me the most because he wasn't just lying to everyone like the rest, but to me. Instead of caring about himself and his mental wellbeing, he had put that aside just so I was okay.

I didn't notice I had shed a couple of tears until Soojin suddenly tapped my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Soojin asked me after I took off my headphones. "You are crying."

"Oh, it's just the song I was listening to," I lied and dried my eyes. 

"Which one was it?" Lin asked me curiously.

I then picked up my phone to see what had been the song I was listening to before stopping the music and it coincidentally was 'Voices' which worked in that case as it was a song that had actually made me cry on more than one occasion.

"Oh, 'Voices'," Soojin said after seeing it. "You should listen to the setlist of the concert, not that."

"I just like that one," I said. "It's not like I didn't know the rest of the songs, anyways."