Baby Love ── RICKY BOWEN¹

nineteen. real feelings

.·゜゜·　　·゜゜·．

So, Thanksgiving wasn't the greatest. I got my dad yelled at, got my feelings hurt, then got home to be yelled at by my mom, which lead to a pretty tense weekend. But at least the weekend is over now and I can go back to school and pretend none of it ever happened.

Except I can't.

I froze upon seeing the crowd gathered in the theater, along with the bright yellow jackets worn by firefighters. Fucking firefighters. Miss Jenn is talking when I join the group, settling beside Amy who immediately wraps an arm around me, her head falling to my shoulder with a sigh.

"...and let's all reconvene in the cafeteria after school to talk about our options."

I frown, turning my head slightly to whisper to Amy, "Options?"

She lifts her head from my shoulder with a nod. "We can't have the show anymore, not here."

My heart drops. There's no show?

.·゜゜·　　·゜゜·．

"When I joined the show I didn't expect to care about it so much. Now I'm fully invested, and if this show goes down, and I don't mean this dramatically, my life is over."

It's silent for a moment.

"Over."

.·゜゜·　　·゜゜·．

"So." I look up from my phone as Amy plops herself down beside me, her arm dropping around my shoulder. "How ya feelin'?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Me? I should be asking you that, Ryan."

She gives me a tight-lipped smile. "I'm more concerned about Gina than the show if I'm honest." I frown, but Amy shakes her head before I get the chance to press further. "I was asking how you're feeling because Richard has been making googly eyes at you since he got here, and you aren't even looking his way. What's that about?"

In a very unlike Maritza manner, I roll my eyes at the mention of Ricky. I know, weird, right? Still, unsure if Amy's words ring true, I turn to where I imagine Ricky is, and as she said, he was there looking at me. He seems to perk up when I meet his eyes, but before he could get his hopes up, I'm looking away from him, and back to Amy.

The whole day has passed now, and I've managed to avoid Ricky at all costs. It isn't that I don't wanna talk to him, but I don't wanna talk to him. I don't think I'm being unreasonable either. He's the one that told me I shouldn't settle for less, and I need to stand up for myself when it's necessary. Did he somehow think he was exempt from that for some reason? Like I was just gonna let him talk to me like I'm his lesser? I don't think so.

Do I miss talking to him? Maybe. I mean, it's only been three days of not speaking, but I did find myself picking up my phone a few times to text Ricky about something. But I quickly swiped away from our text conversation and to mine and Amy's instead, because she's just as much my best friend as he is. And she never made me feel like my lack of relationship with my mom was my fault, just saying.