Sex and Radio (Book 2)Completed||

14

Kaycee: Moms good now. Just settled her in. Dad’s still a mess. I’m glad you guys came. 

I smiled, staring at the message flashing across my screen. Relief filled my lungs, and I finally found fresh air for the first time after holding my breath for the past week. Finally, after a long and torturous week of intensive care, massive amounts of fluids, and extra care. Mom is ok. She’s finally ok and home. Well, as ok as a woman fighting cancer could be. But she is home and safe in bed, and that’s all that mattered right now.

One day at a time. 

Kaycee kept us updated every day since they forced us out of the hospital. Yeah, you heard that right----forced. When my mom told me to go back to school, she meant business. There was no pussyfooting around with her demand. She didn’t let us hang around and mourn her illness like we wanted to. Oh, not this woman. She only let us hang around the whole next day. We played cards. We played a board game and really came together as a family unit for her. Even Bodhi and I were civil to each other throughout the day. 

But after 9 pm, she told us to get lost. Seriously --she told us to go home. I love her beyond words, but she grated my nerves. With her shooing us out the door like we didn’t belong there by her side. I could afford to miss more class, I had the grades. But I guess it was for the best. Who am I to argue with her stubborn ass? It’d never get me anywhere, anyway. It’d be like arguing with a stubborn brick wall; unmoving and unwavering. So after coming back to campus to stew in my drowning worries, I had several epiphanies. Ideas floated through my mind on how I could spend my time before class resumed in a few days. 

I decided before class resumed. I had missions to accomplish. Very important missions to check off my list before I could settle my endless worries. Two missions, to be exact. My first and most important mission was close to my heart. So close, I almost didn’t want to ruin it by opening my big mouth. With my mom’s wise words of wisdom stewing in the back of my brain, I knew I needed to act. She gave me the confidence to proceed. I needed to confess to Dex how I felt. I needed to lay it all out for him. Tell him exactly what I wanted and expected out of him. 

My second mission was a more daunting task than the first. Something I’m not sure I actually want to know, but I have to. I had to protect myself. I had to find out exactly why Zane came back. No matter how hard of a pill it would be to swallow, I had to know. And maybe... maybe I’d finally have the courage to come forward to someone.

Mission one would come to a head tonight. My heart fluttered inside my chest. The tight band of anticipation constricted my lungs, making me breathless without running. Dex’s frat hosted a September costume party every year. Why in September? Who knew, honestly? It’s a pre-Halloween celebration, if you will.  Some sort of tradition, he claimed. Honestly, they threw a party for any occasion they could think of. Got laid? Party! Got an A? Party! If they could get everyone or in their case, the whole woman student body to dress up in provocative costumes. They’d do it in a heartbeat. And that’s exactly what tonight is. 

Dex convinced me through a fury of kisses one night we should dress up, get drunk, dance, and have fun. And who was I to deny my man some fun? We needed it. We deserved some fun together before I potentially ruined it all. We had worked hard all semester, and this was it. All week I had sat on the knowledge of my true feelings and all week it sat on the tip of my tongue eager to escape. 

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him! 

It never seemed to be the right time or the right setting. Everything about my reveal had to be perfect in my mind. Or maybe that was just an excuse to not tell him yet. The fear of confessing my feelings rattled my bones, but if I held it in anymore, I’d explode into a million pieces. Or knowing me, I’d blurt it out at the most inappropriate time. So I had to stick to my plan.