THE OLD ME BACK

Chapter 5

Fetching me by that stranger didn't happen, and I should be glad! That's what I want though, even other guys who attempted to do so didn't succeed lately. So I'm home alone after I walked along the four blocks away from the school. Because of that, I'm able to save fifty pesos today which is supposed to pay for my commute if I ride in a pedicab.

It's been a week that I choose to walk along the roadside alone. I'm training myself to walk this far without someone I am with. So far, I feel good at it. I can really feel the peace and freedom that my heart longs for. If only I realize it too early how far greater it is to do, I should have done it way back. But as what others say, regrets are always at the end.

And I don't want to talk about my regrets because it just make me more foolish.

When I open the door of this little apartment, I directly go to my room and hang my bag on the wall. I lay on my bed comfortably, resting my body and feet for a tiring walk. More or less twenty minutes of walking I consume to get home. Now, the room is so silent and the half part of me is somewhat longing for the noise such as the cheers and disco ball.

Decided to get my phone in the pocket of my skirt, I browse and go to the playlist. Then I play the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay. I don't know but this song suits in me especially to my current situation.

The song has already started. After I put the phone on the pillow beside my left ear, I dart my eyes on the ceiling, thinking of the past that I should have not gone back.

It's been a week. Yes, one week has passed, without them.

This is the reason why I find myself having a hard time lately. Telling myself a hundred times, I should embrace the adjustment though I know the process is not so easy. Half part of me is eager to be the person that most people appreciate me to be. But at the end of being someone else, I realize it's not good at all.

While the song still plays on, someone suddenly comes in my mind. A person who is very close to my heart who enlightens me up but I realize it too late. She said that I've totally changed and I'm not already Alesha she has known me before.

Argh! My eyes start to get warm. I know what's the next thing will happen. And I'm right, in just a couple of seconds, the tears roll on my cheeks without my consent.

Gosh, I really miss my best friend. I'm hoping one of these days I'll meet her again.

I easily get up from the bed and wear my eyeglasses off which are already wet from the tears produced by my weak eyes. Gosh, I can't believe I've just cried!

I take a deep breath as I face on the human-sized mirror that is beside the door. I clearly see myself the way how I look like. Using eyeglasses which I should have used contact lenses, letting my eyebrows getting darker that being on fleek is not already visible. When I try to smile on the mirror, I see the braces that I just have used again a week ago after a very long time being stuck. My hair, which is very straight way back, now it starts to curl again after not visiting the salon that I am used to go to. My lips are obviously pale, which were used to be red before.

Managing myself to keep calm, I quickly wipe my tears off. I should be getting better soon, that's what I'm always inculcating in my mind.

Few seconds more that I still look myself on the mirror when the song suddenly stops and the ringtone starts to play. My curiosity starts to arise so I check the phone to see who is calling.

For a while, I don't know if I will answer her call. It's Thea calling, my former classmate.

"Hello?" I initiate to speak up, but the first sound that I hear from the other line is the rock music that I am familiar with. "Hello Thea?"

"Hey bitch! Where are you at?"

I sigh deeply. Calling me bitch before is so cool because that's our endearment as party girls, but not lately. I don't want to hear that word. Again. I literally despise it.

"I can't join with you," straight to the point I say. I inhale so deep and let it out right away just to get my mood not be ruined.

"Why can't you? I've known you, bitch. Do you think you can avoid this so sudden? I must tell you, what you're doing now bitch is just only a start."