You Should Leave, Baby → ZUWOON

chapter ten

tw; violence, minor gore

Seokwoo's first thought when he wakes up is to pull himself closer to Juho, to hide himself in the other to protect himself from the cold in the room. Though, reaching out for the other, his fingers only brush up against the blankets, and Seokwoo cracks an eye open unhappily. Juho is gone, the bed deserted beside Seokwoo.
He doesn't worry about the other's whereabouts, hearing the shower blasting from across the apartment. He closes his eyes again, taking a soft breath before rolling back over to face the wall. His hand falls to the side of the mattress, and he feels along the edge of it until he feels the sharp curve of his phone. Pulling it out tiredly, he cracks an eye open and scrolls through his notifications.
There's nothing of importance for him to check on further, with the exception of Youngbin sending him the occasional picture or text, which Seokwoo answers without much enthusiasm.

YOUNGBIN:
sanghyuk just had me convinced that eggs weren't real what the fuck is happening

ME:
That's rough.

He lets his phone fall to the floor, uninterested in anything that it could show him. He adjusts the blankets, deciding that if Juho wasn't around he should just go back to sleep until the older came back to the room.
Which, Seokwoo assumes won't take very long at this point as the shower's turned off, the soft dripping of the faucet being the only noise that proved that it had been on in the first place somewhat recently. There's quiet music playing from the bathroom, and Seokwoo has to wonder if it's one of Juho's own songs. He was a producer who didn't share his work. It was known that he had a plethora of songs saved on his computer, and that any he used in his videos were his, but it was rare anybody else got their hands on them. He liked his privacy, especially when that privacy was concealing his work from the world.
The door swings open slowly, the knob knocking and bouncing against the wall when it's pushed fully open. Seokwoo sits up, smiling groggily at Juho, who walks inside with a towel wrapped tightly around himself, holding it with one hand while the other clicks around on his phone.
Raising his gaze up over the edge of the device in his hands, Juho gasps. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"Oh, no, you're alright," Seokwoo reassures, sleepy eyes drifting lazily over the other's features. His hair is slicked back from the shower, strands falling down over his neck messily.
Juho nods, walking over to his dresser. He throws open one of the drawers, rifling around until his hand comes away with a black shirt. A moment later, a matching pair of jeans are thrown over his shoulder, and he closes the drawer. "Did you sleep well?"
Humming, Seokwoo yawns, rubbing his face in a futile attempt to wake himself up. "I did, better than I have...You?"
"Of course." As he turns back towards the door, Juho shifts the clothes he's holding idly. "Oh, and I'm taking you out, so you should get ready."
Juho leaves the room, and Seokwoo hears the bathroom door shut quietly from further away in the apartment soon after. Exhausted, yet excited to start the day, Seokwoo slides out of Juho's bed and stands up, turning to pull the blankets back up on the bed. It's made up haphazardly, and Seokwoo nods, proud of the (shitty) work he'd done.
He realizes then that he doesn't have anything to wear for that day, and tactfully makes his way over to Juho's dresser, hesitantly opening up one of the drawers. Was he technically stealing? Yes. Did he care?
He grabs a white shirt from the stack of nicely folded clothes, whistling as he holds it up to unfurl in his grip.
No, he didn't care, not in the slightest. He pulls off the shirt he has on, replacing it with Juho's, then closes the drawer and moves to the next to find a pair of pants.
After a moment of searching, he feels someone leaning against his back, arms encircling his waist idly. "Find anything you like?"
"Maybe," Seokwoo takes a quick glance over his shoulder, noting the way the older's cheek rests against his shoulder tiredly, "maybe not."
"Pants are a drawer down," Juho informs him, and Seokwoo crouches down to continue his search. The older breaks away from him, sitting on the edge of his bed as he watches Seokwoo.
Seokwoo flashes the article he pulls out at Juho, who shrugs halfheartedly when he's asked if it's alright if the articles are borrowed. "I don't mind, as long as they fit you."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"I'm calling you a fucking beanstalk, Seokwoo."
Seokwoo walks across the room, grabbing his phone from the floor where he'd left it. Juho lays back, watching the ceiling idly. "Tonight," he murmurs, turning to watch the brunette with half-lidded eyes, "do you think Yugyeom will be there?"
Without hesitation, Seokwoo looks up to him. His phone dangles in his grip, dangerously close to falling back to the floor. "If he is, I'm not letting him get anywhere close to you."
Juho nods, worrying his fingers against his thighs. His gaze darts around the room, unable to stay fixated to one place. His breath hitches over an unsaid word, but he holds it back, almost seeming embarrassed to say what was on his mind. Seokwoo raises an eyebrow curiously, obviously intrigued by the other's sudden silence. He drops the jeans down on the comforter, along with his phone.
"What is it?" He hums, cutting across the room to stand in front of Juho.
"Promise?"
Juho's face turns red the moment he says it, and he turns his head to avoid eye contact. "I mean, it was a stupid thing to say. I just..." His voice trails off, but, already having dug himself his own grave, he continues slowly. "I just get freaked out... Thinking of seeing him again."
Seokwoo's shoulders drop with understanding and he leans down, placing a hand on either side of the other. Juho's gaze softens when he looks up at him, pouting. Seokwoo places a soft kiss against the other's forehead, humming his response quietly. "I promise."
Face blossoming with color, Juho brings his hands up in an attempt to conceal himself, looking up quickly at Seokwoo. "Shut up..."
"I promise," Seokwoo stands back up, looking at the other with pride in his eyes, the emotion primarily diluted by fondness for the other. Once again, repeating himself, Seokwoo teases the other. "I promise..."
Juho, seemingly ready for death, almost embracing it with open arms, grabs a pillow and desperately smothers himself with it, hiding from Seokwoo. "You're a dick."
Scoffing, Seokwoo reaches over and grabs the jeans, leaving his phone on the bed. "I'm not."
"You are."
"Am not," Seokwoo begins to leave the room, and Juho sits up slowly behind him, kicking his legs idly as he watches the other leave.
Quickly walking to the bathroom, Seokwoo shuts the door behind himself and slips off his sweats (which he had also stolen from Juho's closet the night prior) and replaces them with the jeans he'd taken minutes before. He takes a moment to look around, shocked at the state of the room.
It's immaculate, everything scrubbed down thoroughly and practically shimmering. Seokwoo can faintly smell the unmistakable scent of bleach. He can't help but wonder if Juho had taken the time out of his day to clean the room so harshly simply because Seokwoo was visiting, or if he was just a clean freak. Either way, he's endeared even further by the other.
He sticks out his lips, watching himself in the mirror. Slotting his fingers through his hair, he begins to smooth out the messy strands. It doesn't take long until he looks presentable enough to go out, not worrying about reporters or photographers that may be lurking on the streets. The outfit he'd taken from Juho didn't look half bad on him, and he wonders if Juho would be mad if he kept it for a while. He tucks in the shirt, grimaces, then pulls it back out, deciding that the look he'd had for only a split second should be seen by no other eyes but his.
As he's about to leave, he notices something pink hanging on the back of the door.
Juho's waiting outside for him, and chokes when he sees his sweater hanging off of Seokwoo's shoulders when he throws the door open. "Where did you find that!?"
"I think it suits me," Seokwoo ignores him, raising an arm to caress the soft material with his fingertips, "what do you think?"
"Take that off."
"Hmm," Seokwoo obliges, albeit slowly, and calmly slides the sweater over his head. Juho frowns, crossing his arms. "You know," Seokwoo starts, causing the other to bite his lip, "you're really cute."
"Repeat yourself," Juho commands, and Seokwoo laughs. Though, most of it comes out as obviously nervous, and it's apparent to Juho.
"You're cute."
"You have no proof."
Seokwoo cocks an eyebrow, placing his hands on his hips. "Well, I mean, you fell asleep next to me and I woke up to you cuddling with me," he reasons, and Juho flushes. "Then, let's see... Then, you got upset that I wanted to sleep, and ran over and cuddled with me."
"That's enough-"
"THEN," Seokwoo cuts Juho off, raising a hand to silence him, "you... You just cuddle a lot."
"I'm a very loving person," Juho growls, menace in his stern gaze and tone.
The contradiction stalks past Seokwoo and into the bathroom, snatching the sweater back from him before locking himself inside the room. Seokwoo brings a hand up to his mouth, trying fervently to stifle his laugh. "Aw, don't be like that."
Through the door, Seokwoo can hear the other's whining almost perfectly. "You're ruining my image!"
"What image?"
The door is thrown open, and Juho steps back outside wearing the soft pink sweater. The sleeves hang down far over his hands, fingertips barely showing from underneath. His hair is perfectly unkempt, drying steadily in the warm air in the apartment. "I am cold and vicious."
"Uh-huh..."
"Cold, vicious, and deadly. My looks could kill."
Seokwoo nods, head bobbing up and down quickly. "Oh, absolutely. I don't doubt it at all."
Sensing the sarcasm in the other's voice, as if it wasn't obvious enough, Juho pouts. "What?"
"No, no," Seokwoo waves a hand dismissively, walking towards the front door to grab his shoes. Juho follows at his heels, completely ready to leave for the day. "Nothing, I believe you."
Opening the door, Juho steps out into the city. Seokwoo watches him, sliding his shoes on distantly. It felt like they were in two separate planes; one, inside a quiet, cold apartment, while the other fought against the haze and choked oxygen of a bustling city.
He walks outside, waiting for Juho to lock the door behind them before reaching forward, grabbing his hand. They would navigate the haze together, through the densely packed streets and sidewalks. Juho swings their interlocked hands between them absentmindedly, eyes scanning the surrounding crowd.
The further they walk, the more the crowd tightens around them, tired and still half asleep people going to their jobs or to their school, everyone having their own duties to get through during the day. Seokwoo feels a soft tug on his hand, and turns to see Juho motioning towards the crosswalk. He nods, crossing quickly with the other, the pavement slick underneath their shoes from the rain the night prior. Water still trickled down the asphalt, into drains and grates that were filling slowly. There's a skip in Juho's step as he leads the other through the throngs of people, not seeming to care when he brushed up against somebody else or was pushed gently by someone rushing to get to their workplace.
Seokwoo, on the other hand, hated the closeness he felt with the people alongside him. Juho was fine, as he had gladly shown and been close to the other a plethora of times before, but with strangers.... It made him uneasy.
The sea of people seems to separate around the two, and Juho turns down another street, readjusting the way his hand fits against Seokwoo's. It's warm that morning, the sun just beginning to break through the clouds that had concealed it for the night. It was only going to get warmer, Seokwoo figures, and rolls his shoulders back.
He realizes that he's left his phone in the other's apartment, and sighs. Juho turns, eyes wide with bliss. "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing," Seokwoo reassures him, "nothing, it's all good."
He was relieved to get away from the device. He wouldn't have to worry about anything but him and Juho for the, what he was assuming would be, hours they would be out for. He tightens his fingers around Juho's, quickening his pace to walk alongside him calmly. "Nothing at all."
"If you say so," the older murmurs, turning to look up at the sky. Seokwoo looks around, watching the area around them turn from apartment buildings and complexes to stores and restaurants. He feels a gentle pull on his hand, and turns back to Juho, pursing his lips. "Is there anywhere specific that you want to go?"
After a moment of wondering, Seokwoo shakes his head, smiling. "Anywhere you want to."
Juho sighs, looking around. "Well, there's a few cafes nearby..."
"Then let's go there," Seokwoo insists, moving a bit closer to the other. Juho nods, obviously having one in mind. "I'll pay."
"Hm," Juho ponders over the two last words Seokwoo had said for a moment, and shakes his head, "you fucking won't."
"Bet."
"No, fuck you," Juho murmurs, voice quiet. Seokwoo laughs, once again turning to watch the buildings change around them.
It's quiet between them, the silence blissful and serene. There's nothing awkward there, and nothing contrived of lies and unknowing, as there had been days before, as the two slept next to each other, unsure of their futures together.
Fate had bound them together, in such an odd and unusual way. There was no other explanation; without the mishaps and the vacation Seokwoo had nearly declined, they would have never found each other. Or, they would have never cared to learn more about each other. Seokwoo couldn't explain how odd it felt, but how right it was at the same time. Things were working out for him, finally. When he was with Juho, nothing else mattered, and everything in his way seemed so small and unimportant.
Juho, on the other hand, was unsure.
The older pulls Seokwoo aside, stepping under the overhang of a quaint looking cafe with wide, glimmering windows. They were obviously just washed, fingerprints and smudges nonexistent on the clear glass, both sides being pristine and absolutely spotless. Seokwoo whistles quietly, reaching forward to pull the door open. Juho breaks his hand away, stepping inside quickly before him.
He waves to the woman behind the counter, who has familiarity written all over her face when she realizes who had come inside. "Juho," she smiles fondly, leaning forward on the counter, "I thought I told you not to come around these parts anymore."
"But I leave good tips," he defends himself, and Seokwoo watches the two with amusement in his gaze. "And I'm your number one customer."
She scoffs, raising her hands up in defeat. "You've made your points, I suppose."
"Thank you, Nayeon."
He leads Seokwoo to a table, nudging him towards the booth before going to grab two menus from a nearby stand. Seokwoo watches him, resting his cheek in his palm idly.
Juho comes back a moment later, setting the menu down in front of the other, biting his lip in thought.
"Thank you."
"Yeah," Juho nods, sitting down across from him. He nudges the other's ankle with his shoe, flipping his menu open. "No need, you're fine."
Oddly, Seokwoo doesn't mind the contact Juho seems to constantly initiate with him. It's not overbearing or suffocating, as Seokwoo found most physical contact to be. He finds himself looking forward to it, even, waiting for the other's hand to slip into his or for his arms to wrap tiredly around him.
They sit in silence, both scanning the menu quietly. Juho steals a look at Seokwoo, who notices but keeps his own eyes lowered. Juho's linger over him for a moment before dropping back down, only to peek back at him from behind the menu a moment later.
Blankly, Seokwoo looks up at him. Juho ducks down, acting as if he'd never looked up in the first place. "Yes?"
"Nothing."
Seokwoo nudges his knee against the other's, grinning. "I saw you looking at me."
"I was not."
His grin turns to a smirk, and slowly Seokwoo reaches forwards and pulls the other's menu down, exposing his quickly reddening face. "Sure you weren't."
"Alright, loser."
"Hey," Seokwoo's expression morphs into a pout, and he cocks his head to the side. "You can't call your b-."
The silence that erupts after the clipped syllable leaves Seokwoo's mouth is instantaneous.
Boyfriend. That wasn't correct, not in the slightest. Seokwoo bites his lip, leaning back against the booth. Juho averts his eyes, suddenly finding the wooden floors very interesting as he won't look anywhere but the boards below them. They were still relatively new to each other; and they were just trying things out, weren't they? They weren't boyfriends outside of the public eye; their fake relationship being built from deceit and lies. In their own, private lives, they were just fooling around. At least, that's what Seokwoo thinks, oblivious to mostly everything except the euphoria he feels when he's with Juho. They weren't dating, not formally. Seeing each other? Maybe, but it wasn't serious. Not yet, at least. They were dancing around the subject every time they were together, just daring to skirt the edges of it with flirtatious conversation, but both too were too afraid to bring it up.
Juho decides to repair the bridge between them, the darkness between them brightening with the other's attempt. "Should we go order?" He blatantly disregards Seokwoo's prior statement.
"Yeah."
They approach the counter slowly; Juho orders a regular black coffee, and Seokwoo orders a latte. Nayeon tries to make a joke, obviously sensing the tension between them,. It's thick, choking out the room. What was once peaceful has become something worrying.
It doesn't take long for Nayeon to make their drinks, and she slides them over the counter quickly. Juho hands her his card, and she mutters something about giving him a discount.
Bashfully, Juho pulls a handful of bills out of his pocket. "Well, these crisp fives are for you," he muses, popping them into the glass jar next to the register. Nayeon raises an eyebrow.
"I forgot you were loaded."
"Well, I wouldn't say-"
"Why did I even give you a discount?"
She disappears behind the counter, coming back a few moments later with a small bag. She sets it on the counter, sliding it towards Juho. "We made too many croissants earlier."
Incredulously, Juho looks up at her, eyebrows rising with surprise. "You... You sure?"
"Take them before I do," she commands, and Juho nods, spinning on his heel to go back to the table. Seokwoo follows him slowly, dragging his sneakers against the floor as he walks.
Back at the booth, Juho finally decides he's had enough of the situation. "Look, Seokwoo."
The brunette looks up, his desperate gaze encouraging the other to continue.
"We don't have to figure all of that out right now." He brings a hand up, toying with his shirt collar nervously. "I mean, we're both... Neither of us want to be hurt, you know?" He brings his hands down to his cup, fingers rubbing the rough material absentmindedly. "So it's okay with me if we just ease into things, you know? We don't have to have a label, not when it's just us, but..."
"I like you," Seokwoo blurts, shaking his head the moment he says it. Juho smiles, sighing softly.
"Well, I like you too."
The silence becomes more relaxed, and Seokwoo feels the other's leg brush against his softly. The gesture repairs the bridge fully, and Seokwoo leans forward on the table, elbows propped against it.
After another bout of silence, a group of teenagers enter the almost empty cafe, lingering in the doorway for a moment. Seokwoo suddenly feels what he'd felt earlier with Juho at the apartment, that he's seeing into somebody else's reality. He's just a background to them, minuscule and unimportant when compared to what they were dealing with. Studying, finals... One of the girls hitches her backpack over her shoulder, readjusting it. A pencil case falls out of an open pocket, and, with a sheen of embarrassment over her face, she kneels down to pick it up.
Juho laughs quietly, shaking his head. "I miss high school."
"Wait, seriously?" Seokwoo turns to look at him, eyes widening with surprise. "How could you miss that place?"
The older shrugs, blue hair bouncing with the movement. "It was simpler than things are now. I had other people looking out for me."
"Hey," Seokwoo frowns, "I'm looking out for you."
"Well you're different."
"Oh, am I?"
"Of course," Juho scoffs, taking a slow sip of his coffee, "why wouldn't you be?"
The group moves to the counter, and Seokwoo notices one of the girls looking at him and Juho with wide eyes. He smiles at her and she smiles back, and where he believes she'll come over to introduce herself as most of his fans did, she just turned back to her friends and continued to speak as if nothing had happened in the first place.
Juho leans back against the booth, bringing his cup to his lips. Seokwoo turns back to him, about to ask about that night, but he's cut off by the sharp buzzing of Juho's phone.
The older groans, picking it up absentmindedly before looking to the caller ID. He answers it, setting his cup on the table.
"Hello?"
Seokwoo watches the other's face. The way he bites his lip, nod slowly while listening to the other speak. His gaze flickers over Seokwoo, then to the door. "Yes, he's right here."
He hands the phone over the table, eyebrow raising with curiosity. Seokwoo takes the device calmly, raising it to his ear. "Hey, it's Seokwoo."
"It's Hyungsik."
"Oh!" Seokwoo recognizes the voice instantly, but can only feel a twinge of nervousness arise. He sounded off. "What's up?"
"Well," Hyungsik laughs, and the phone shifts, a small buzz of static crossing the line between them, "Yugyeom's talking about you."
"Oh," Seokwoo repeats, fingers tracing the table. Juho hears the anger in his voice and looks up, worry prominent in his gaze. Seokwoo ignores him when he tries to ask him a question. What's wrong?
"I'm texting Juho the pictures of the conversation now, can you take a look for me?"
"Of course. I'll just answer you there, okay?"
"Yeah-"
Seokwoo hangs up, cutting off the other's sentence harshly. Juho doesn't mind Seokwoo opening up his conversations, obviously content with the fact that he has nothing to hide. But the other's state worries him, so he leans forward to peek at his phone's screen. "What's wrong, Seok'?"
"Hold on," Seokwoo murmurs, biting his lip when the conversation appears. An unknown number sends over pictures of a group chat's conversation, and Seokwoo almost doesn't want to read what they say. Though, knowing it's important, he selects the first and begins reading it slowly, taking in everything the screen has to offer.

[GC] JACKSON THREE

JACKSON ✿ : i'd like to make a case

ME: Sure lmao

YUGYEOM ✿ : letsgetit

JACKSON ✿ : we should add other actors here

YUGYEOM ✿ : what about vloggers?

ME: :D Yugyeom no

JACKSON ✿ : you're an idiot, yugyeom

YUGYEOM ✿ : :( i'm being fr

YUGYEOM ✿ : FR fr

ME: Juho's with Seokwoo.

JACKSON ✿ : STRAIGHT TO THE POINT

JACKSON ✿ : NO TIME TO BREATHE IN THIS HOUSE

YUGYEOM ✿ : lmao do u really think I care tho

ME: ...

ME: Yes?

YUGYEOM ✿ : if juho saw me in the same room as him, he'd forget all about seokwoo

ME: :/

ME: it's been a year, just let him move on

ME: this game you're playing is sick and cruel

JACKSON ✿ : He's right

JACKSON ✿ : You guys are over

YUGYEOM ✿ : haha

YUGYEOM ✿ : juho would probably love to know about you and seokwoo hooking up, right?

JACKSON ✿ : You fucking wouldn't.

YUGYEOM ✿ : bet (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

ME: You're actually a prick.


Seokwoo feels sick, won't even bring himself to read the last texts Hyungsik had sent. Juho swipes the phone from his hand, grumbling something. He watches Seokwoo, waits for him to reach for the phone or let him know not to look, before turning his attention down to the device.
He stares at the phone in silence, eyes darting over every word. Seokwoo cringes, feeling like a stranger in his own skin. He doesn't know why, but Yugyeom's gotten into his head, under his skin like a parasitic infestation, making his nerves pound and his blood tickle as it ran through his veins.
"Well," Juho mutters, setting the phone down so its screen touches the table, "I said we were gonna give them hell, right?"