The feeling of emptiness
finally consumes me.
At that moment,
I felt myself sink,
and the world slowly turned to black.
Frantically,
I try to make a sound,
hoping that someone
would find me;
that someone would save me.
I try to swim to the surface,
but I notice my ankles
are wrapped around
with a heavy metal chain.
It pulls me further away
from the surface,
and from the oxygen
I desperately need.
I scream.
I yell.
I shout.
But no answer.
That's when I start to give up.
I give in to the emptiness,
to the darkness,
and I let it consume me.
I think to myself
that it's just how things are.
This is my destiny.
This is my end.
Finally, peace.
No more emptiness.
No more sadness.
No more pain.
No more crying.
I'm finally free.
My body turns numb.
I feel myself go
further into oblivion.
I smile in satisfaction, finally.
But then I start to see something.
A barely visible, faint light.
It seems so far away,
but I can see it.
It makes me question
where I am.
I look around,
but all I see in the distance is
that ray of light.
It makes me snap out of it.
I think to myself,
"What am I doing here?"
I miss my family.
I miss the never-ending,
weird conversations
with my friends.
I miss laughing
'till my stomach hurts.
I miss listening to music,
along with the millions of corrections on how BTS aren't Chinese, they're Korean.
I miss so many things,
it makes my heart ache.
I want to go back to the surface.
I don't like being alone.
I hate this darkness.
I just want to go home.
The light grows brighter and brighter,
and I start to feel light.
I look at my feet,
noticing that the chains
are finally gone.
I look up to the surface,
happy that I can also see.
I feel the light guide me.
Unconsciously,
I start to swim upwards.
Idon't notice it at first,
but I'm happy.
I want to go to the surface.
It becomes closer and closer.
As I'm almost there,
I extend my hand to the surface.
I swim even faster.
Then finally, I feel the air
in my hand.
Seconds later,
my head reaches it.
I gasp for air,
breathing heavily.
Finally, I'm home.
---
A/N - Quite similar to the 'Finding A Purpose' one I wrote, but this was written when I was going through a really depressing time, so I decided to re-organize it as a poem. Anyways, I'm doing super good these days, so for anyone reading this that feels like how I did:
It gets better. I promise. Whatever you're feeling now, will just be a memory of the past. So keep fighting. Keep on living. Keep on hoping, believing, and trusting those you love. I promise it gets better.
If anyone has any topics that they want me to cover just let me know!
-A
