becoming {h.s} | {b2}

CHAPTER EIGHT

— CHAPTER EIGHT —

february, year one.

"What time are we meeting tonight?" TJ asks, biting down into a sandwich as we sit hunched around a table in the cafeteria. It's a busy day today. Monty, TJ, Ruth, McCarthy and I were lucky enough to get lunch together at the same time. "And where?"

"We're meeting at the bar at 9. I forget the name of it, I can send it to you later. Will and I are going to Harry's first to pick him up and drive him over." I explain, scarfing down my sandwich. Lunch has become something of a competitive sport between my friends and I. You never really know when you're going to get it, nor do you know for how long. Bearing such in mind, I always try to eat as fast as I can.

Ruth sighs upon my words, a sort of grumble on her face as she looks at TJ with a rather aggressive stink-eye. "You are so lucky that you live with someone who doesn't drink." She moans, making it obvious that TJ has assigned her the role of being the designated driver for the night. To be completely fair, as a mother that is still pumping breastmilk, she does have to be rather conscientious about when and what she is drinking, but I do understand her annoyance in having just spent several months completely unable to drink and then having it prolonged even more because her baby-daddy wants a night out. In this equation, I do see both sides. Times like these I really thank my lucky stars that Ruth and TJ are so communicative in their parenting decisions. They leave their fights at home and are usually very open in their struggles as well as their successes. Both of them are committed to their daughter above all else. Though, to be fair, it is rather presumptuous of me to assume that they have fights at all. From the way that they carry on, they could have fooled me.

Equally so, they're lucky that their parents were so willing to help. Zana will be spending the night with her grandmother. Ruth's mother had come for a couple of months following the birth of her grandchild to help get Ruth settled as a young mother. Apparently she came out to meet everyone a couple of times. I was never really there, though, having been cooped up in my own house. She returned back to Texas and left Ruth and TJ to their own devices. This time around, it's TJ's mother who has come to visit. Yet to meet her granddaughter, she was excited to take some time off and interact with the budding family. Tonight she gets a very special one-on-one evening with her as TJ and Ruth have both committed to coming out to celebrate Harry's birthday with the rest of us.

At first, I had thought it rather childish to plan a birthday party for my best friend; but, following the low that I hit on the day that Harriet was anticipated to be born, I knew that I had to make some changes. Going back to work was better for me than I could have ever predicted. It gave me something to do during the long hours of the day and it let me help other people that I was in the position to help. Working felt good. But, I quickly realized that there are only so many hours that I can spend in the hospital each day without burning myself out.

Regardless of my present personal situation, I consider January and February a rather bleak time. Immediately following the holiday season, there is something particularly depressing about the drop off of kindness. The holiday season seems to just put people in a better mood. In the days and weeks following, everyone returns to their usual crabbiness. Prior to meeting Harry, February only offered the relief of Valentine's Day which has never felt like a relief to me. It was always a holiday that I viewed with bated breath. I'd never had a serious relationship that lined up with celebration of the day, and I never felt required to subscribe to the capitalist ploy that encourages couples to appreciate each other on one day in opposition to every other day that they're together. Only now do I begin to contemplate celebrating the holiday, simply because it marks a year since that first kiss I had with Will.