Tough Love

V: We Stumble and We Fall

Getting Taehyung’s friend number was easy, going to see him was easy too. Jungkook actually really liked Dr. Kim. He is young and very professional, not to mention that he assured Jungkookie that he’ll gladly help Yoongi. That he has had people who needed help after losing a loved one before, he had assured Jungkook that those cases were not really uncommon, on the contrary, a lot of people didn’t know how to deal with grieve and needed someone to be there for them. Jungkook thought highly of Dr. Kim Namjoon since he first saw him and he thought even higher of him after having actually spoken with him. He made it seem easy.

Nevertheless, what wasn’t easy was trying to convince Yoongi to go. Jungkook knew his proposal of counseling would sparkle an argument but he told Yoongi about it anyway. Much like had initially predicted, they ended up fighting but that was nothing new. Jungkook was almost used to it, which is bad. The more he fights with Yoongi, the more Yoongi keeps pushing him away, the more attracted he feels towards someone he should not be attracted to. Needless to mention his name.

Jungkook feels guilty but is it really his fault? Yoongi is the one who's destroying everything, after all. There’s only so much a loving heart can take and Jungkook feels like he is slowly running out of love and quickly running out of patience. That’s why he brings up Kim Namjoon almost every night. Even if it caused them to fight, even if it means that Yoongi would not lie by his side until he's deeply asleep as if to avoid any more words from him. Jungkook is hurt but he is still stubborn and he is still as selfish as he has always been. He doesn’t want to let go, he doesn’t want to give up even when the landscape of a new beginning, a new paradise reaches his eyes every single time he finds himself in the company of his workmate.

In the midst of desperation, he went for the only thing he could think of, he texted Jimin. He told him about his feelings with Yoongi, he even mentioned Taehyung a few times, he figured that he was the only one who could possibly understand what he is going through. Jimin is not his friend yet Jungkook talked to him about everything he had bottled up inside, about Kim Namjoon, about the possible light at the end of the tunnel- not necessarily by Yoongi’s side. For a minute, Jungkook felt like the biggest burden ever. He wasn’t only bothering Yoongi- as he had so eloquently said during one of their recent arguments- he was also bothering one of the most direct victims of Hoseok’s passing. He was trying to get help from someone who probably was drowning even deeper.

Even so, Jimin never turned him down. He listened, or read, everything Jungkook had to say, he sent some cute messages whenever Jungkook stopped replying- mostly due to his teary eyes. He made it clear that the idea of counseling was great because Yoongi needed it, because both him and Jungkook were too close to an edge they would not able to recover from if they fell. Jungkook told him of all the times he has fruitlessly tried to convince Yoongi to go see Taehyung’s friend, how all of those instances had triggered some of their worst fights ever. It was then that Jimin offered to visit Seoul.

He had asked if he could stay with them for a few days and Jungkook instantly agreed, not even caring about consulting Yoongi first. It would be a surprise, possibly not a good one but a surprise nonetheless.

This is the reason why Jungkook now stands on the train station, a beanie on his head and the car keys in his hand. He doesn’t have to wait for too long for the train to arrive and with it, a little bit of hope makes its way back into Jungkook’s heart again. Is probably nothing and most likely it means nothing but is there nonetheless. Jungkook is utterly tired of feeding himself false hopes and yet here he is, looking for another solution to what is seemingly unrecoverable.

The wagons slowly empty as rivers of people descend from them, Jungkook stands on his toes, tries to see in between the people around. It is only then that he spots him, Jimin is wearing a plain white shirt and some expensive looking pants. Jungkook has never been this glad to see someone arriving on a train. Jimin is not his friend, he never was, they have always been mere acquaintances and yet as soon as he sees him, Jungkook runs to him.