Percy Jackson, or Tony Stark

Coffee, please

PETER POV

"You're dead." Said Thanos blankly as I blinked again.

I, Peter Parker, was having serious doubts that I wasn't currently delerious; a) tOnY wHaT?!?! b) tOnY wHaT eVeN - i CaN't - WhY?

"Aren't you a death god?" Asked the so claimed 'Percy Jackson.'

Thanos - or Thanatos - gumbled. "Yeah. But Hades doesn't pay well. I mean for a guy who controls all the wealth in the world he sure is stingy."

"I know, right? The bridges to Asphodel are made of crystal and then he gets a birthday gift for my dad and it's like a rock with blue paint on it. So generous, honestly."

"Hi," I put in. "I have no idea what's going on here - but can we not kill half the people in the known world."

"And unkown."

"OH, RIGHT. aNd UnKnOwN."

This Percy dude looked at me blandly, "we are getting to that. It's just nice to talk to someone from my world. I mean have you tried spending years as some jerk billionare? No. So lay off."

"I don't want to kill everyone." Said Thanatos out of the blue.

"You . . . don't?" Said the aliens at his side.

"I do want equality - with Hades. I figure the over-load of souls will put him and Charon out of business. I can take over."

The guy my age frowned. "Didn't this fued start when he didn't show up for christmas the year you were hosting it - because I thought we cleared this up; he was having christmas with the Di Angelos."

"No." Growled Thanatos, "that was Zeus who didn't turn up. And he didn't turn up because he was off with that Drew girl doing who knows what."

"Before we continue this conversation," Percy guy put his hands up in the air. "Can you please go back to your normal form? Because over-sized grape is creeping me out."

"It was the largest form available at the store!"

Percydude frowned.

"Fine." Thanos sighed.

Without even snapping his fingers there was a flash of light and Thanatos was the size and shape of a guy a couple years older than me. And boy was he beautiful.

Wig? Snatched.

Sexuality? Questioned.

Hotel? Trivago.

I mean, aside from the whole evil-god-who-wants-to-kill-everyone thing, I would totally date him. TBH, I'd probably do it anyway.

The god smiled as if he could hear my thoughts. "Your right. My birth form is more pleasing to the eye."

Looking completely un-rattled by the change Percydude gave a smug grin, "so what did the fued start with?"

"He - Hades, Pluto, Death-Incarnate, Night Triumphant, whatever you want to call him - spilt coffee on my gucci bag. Like who does that?"

"Did he buy you an apology coffee at least?"

"NO!"

"Oh, sister sad." Percydude pretended to pick his nail. "Go sympathise yourself with big A. I'm here to stop the destruction you were going to cause. But if you aren't going to use it then I might just go grab a coffee and head down to Caleos."

Thanatos looked at me like I was going to have my soul eaten and I stepped back. Calm down on the intensity radar, seriously. His life-taking gaze swept over all of the heros in their various figting stances, all of whom were ready to pounce on their own word. "No."

We all looked at eachother and slowly lowered our weapons. 

"We still on for that coffee though?" I asked to fill the silence.