know your worth [kagehina]

are you sure?

[Kageyama's POV]

I didn't realize it that quick, I mean I thought about him more than I should've, and I wondered if he though about me (more than he should've). Yet, when the thought of 'you like Shoyou Hinata more than a friend' popped into my head, I felt terrified.

No, no I don't. He's the first real friend I've ever had so I must be confused. I don't like boys! I shouldn't like boys. This isn't normal. Am I not normal? What will people think of me? Will everyone isolate me?

I fidgeted noticeably as I fell into these deep thoughts. When I first found out that I'd be on the same volleyball team as Hinata, I was nonetheless pissed. After practicing and getting close with the small boy, I felt my mindset gradually change over time. He was my bestfriend. He is my bestfriend. And he obviously can't be anything more. Why am I falling so deep into this hole? Will I ever be able to climb out?

My intrusive thoughts were interrupted when Hinata plopped down right next to me and looked in my eyes obviously concerned.

"Kageyama? You've been out of it all day. Has anything happened at home recently? You know you can tell me. I want to help!" He sounded so desperate, almost like a child. I started to feel selfish.

As I've been in my own world, he's been worrying. How could I not notice? I'm so ignorant! Whatever I'm thinking right now is of no importance. I need to come back to the real world!

"Calm down dumbass. I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all. Now c'mon, we'll be late to practice."

[Hinata's POV]

I can't help myself anymore, I've come to that conclusion years ago. So instead I just want to help others; take my mind off of everything else. It works most of the time. And when I noticed the horrified look on Kageyama's face, I wanted nothing more then to get to the bottom of it.

He looked so scared, as if he'd just seen a ghost. I felt genuine sympathy, even though I had no idea what the problem was. After school, I sped to the roof, so I could meet up with him and try to ease his worries.

I could be invading. He may want to be alone. I might just be annoying him. Should I even be doing this? Why am I so scared for you Tobio? Why are you making me feel like if I don't help you then the world will collapse?

I made it to the roof just to be met with the bright sky  I pondered about this morning. It didn't take me long to spot the raven haired boy; he was sitting cross legged while cracking his knuckles and muttering to himself. Seeing him like this physically hurt my heart. I ran to him as fast as I could and plopped down next to him.

"Kageyama? You've been out of it all day. Has anything happened at home recently? You know you can tell me. I just want to help." Almost everything I'd been thinking flooded out at once, and as I spoke he started to look melancholic. He looked away for a few moments before sighing and making eye contact with me.

"Calm down dumbass. I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all. Now c'mon, we'll be late to practice." He spoke hesitantly; looking away and fidgeting as he was before.

H-he's lying. I really am intruding. I shouldn't have asked. I know I shouldn't have asked. Why doesn't he want to talk to me? I just want to help. Why won't he let me help?

"O-okay." I didn't know how to feel. I've always wanted to help people, always. But somehow when Kageyama told me nothing was wrong, I felt my chest tighten and my eyes start to water. I hated seeing Kageyama so sad, yet not accepting help.

I just want to see you happy.

[authors note]
once again,
not the longest chapter, yet then again nO one is gonna read it soOOo. anyways just another reminder that chapters will get longer once i'm not running off of three cups of coffee after midnight. stay healthy & safe !