know your worth [kagehina]

disappointed

[Kageyama's POV]

After that day on the roof, Hinata never failed to continuously check up on me. I appreciated it, of course, but in no way could I tell him what was really bothering me. If I did, he'd most likely regret being so worried about me in the first place. So, I lied. Not only to Hinata, but also to myself.

"Kageyama. Are you sure you're okay? I don't mean to be a bother! You've been so different lately. Not in a bad way of course. I just want to help! Y'know?" Of course I'm fine! Nothing is wrong. Nothing at all. I'm doing perfect. I'm just a perfectly fine, straight, mentally stable high schooler!

"I'm fine dumbass! I don't know where you got the idea that I'm not fine! Just pay attention." Hinata made a face that said 'I know you're lying.' and turned to face the front of the classroom.

I couldn't help but feel bad. I hated lying to Hinata of all people. And every time I started lying to myself, I knew deep down that I would have to confront my emotions sooner or later.

Am I really attracted to boys? If so, am I really attracted to Hinata?

The thought of liking Hinata was scary for many reasons. Being gay or bi or whatever meant that lots of people wouldn't accept me. I couldn't imagine Hinata not accepting me, but wouldn't he be weirded out if he knew I was attracted to him of all people?

I guess I'll just have to wait it out.

[Hinata's POV]

It's been a week. A whole week!! And Kageyama is still acting as if the world is ending. I'm still constantly trying to find out what's making him seem so down, though I don't think he plans on telling me any time soon.

I guess I'm just worried. I mean, why wouldn't I be?
Kageyama is the only person I feel genuine happiness around. Now that he's been so distant, well, it hurts. I don't get to see any of his cute smiles or better yet, hear any of those flustered remarks.

"I'm fine dumbass! I don't know where you got the idea that I'm not fine! Just pay attention." This is what he told me after I asked what was wrong for about the thousandth time. Yeah, okay.

I faced towards the front of the class and tried to focus on our schoolwork, but frankly all I could think about was Kageyama. I wondered if his situation would affect volleyball. Nothing has changed so far, but if he keeps it bottled up, I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

When I play with Kageyama, it feels as if I'm unstoppable. It's like there isn't anyone else on Earth except the two of us. That would be nice.

If I'm being honest, I actually came to the conclusion quite a while ago that, yes, I do in fact like Kageyama much more than a friend should. The idea of him finding out never dawned on me though. But wait, what if he did? What if that's why he won't tell me what's up? Oh. My. God.

I heard the bell ring and quickly snapped back to reality. I ran out of class faster than I could comprehend, and knew exactly who I had to talk to.

"Suga!! There you are!"

[authors note]

so basically, school is canceled because of cOrOnA tiMe, so you know what that means. non-stop writing since i have nothing else to do with my self quarantined spare time!! anyways, stay safe & wash your hands you nasties.