Can't take control of it [Yeonbin] [BL]

Chapter 02 a revelation in the light of day (About knowing)

It was their free time and they wanted to spend it together so the agreed to meet up on the company's hall and then go to have lunch. Huening Kai was the first to arrive, so he sits on a couch and take out a rubik's cube out of his bag, he wasn't in the mood to be on his phone, it made him feel more impatient.

While trying to make the colors on the cube, he started to think about his hyung's problem, he didn't like those tangles were everything gets complicated just because the parts involved don't want to talk about it; he believes honesty in these cases is difficult, he understands that, but it was the best way to solve them. It's easy to get caught on them, but ignoring them hoping they get solved on their own never works.

He doesn't want to fall in love yet, that's for sure.

He chooses to support Yeonjun, not for pity like the older would think, he genuinely likes to spend time with his hyung, being the younger one let him get away with a lot of things.

After 20 minutes, Taehyun and Beomgyu arrive together an apologize to Huening Kai.

Soobin was on his way, he sends a message to Beomgyu and put his phone on his pocket and tries to distract himself looking through the window's car listening to music.

He doesn't know about Yeonjun's feelings but has a hunch, which feels too wild to be true so he discarded it quickly. It's just teasing to have fun, there's no way Yeonjun is into guys and less likely into him. Soobin thinks of himself as a plain guy compared to the other members, he knows comparing will get him nowhere but those thoughts usually help him to want to give his all and that's not so bad.

Going back to why he discarded the idea of someone like Yeonjun having a crush on him, was because he looks like a free person, who doesn't really care of what people may think about him when he chooses to get closer and tease him; they were complete opposites. Also, from time to time, he thinks he does that to help him to not be so nervous and stiff; to cause a reaction that can distract him. To be honest, he himself doesn't know if he can pull a relationship.

He finally arrives and inside the building he sees Beomgyu at the distance who was laughing and making a signal to join them. Yeonjun peeps out behind Beomgyu's back and made him smile.

Weeks passed and everything looks normal and strangely it is, since Yeonjun thought about his whole situation and started treating it like a simple crush; it will pass so he decided to concentrate on practice, rehearsals and training. Even when Soobin is around making him company, he ignored his feelings, also cause he and Beomgyu has so much in common, they tease each other with confidence, he assumes he doesn't have a chance.

Spending time with Kai made him feel ungrateful so he told him the truth making sure the maknae won't go sharing suspicions or theories about his crush. It's fun to talk to the boy, it makes him feel at ease, he can be honest and sometimes forget it all.

At this point the crush felt more like a burden which don't let him truly enjoy things, deep down it wasn't about being in love but all the "ifs" attacking his mind.

For the worse, it was way too difficult to give up when he sees him laughing and see his dimples, his adorable lips and cute eyes becoming crescents. Every time he gets shy, he covers his face in the cutest way. Always kind and polite, the way he looks while eating sweets, how he sometimes is too focused on the performance that he looks too serious... yeah giving up was really hard.

He was deep in thought during the practice break and Kai's voice reached him.

"Hyung?" Kai waves a hand in front of his face, "What?" He answers brushing Kai's hand off.

"You were in another world, are you hungry?" Kai laughs.

Soobin turned to see them and asked with a worried look. "Or did I make a mistake?"

"No," Yeonjun quickly answers, "of course not, I'm hungry, that's all"

"Just 20 minutes more hyung," he smiled cutely and clap his hands, "Everyone, one more time from the start"

"Yees," Beomgyu and Taehyun answered.

"Look at your reflection Yeonjunie hyung," Kai said containing his laugh.

"Shut it brat, I know," he stands up and went to take his position.

Later that day he and the maknaes were thinking on what to eat, but Soobin and Beomgyu weren't on sight. Yeonjun went to search for them and walking by the hallway he did found them, they were kissing, he saw it. There they were, Soobin has his back against the wall cupping Beomgyu's chin and kissing him.

In seconds he retreated and hide, he wore a blank expression, swallows to suppress his feelings and went back with the guys, he was going to say he didn't find them but Huening Kai was approaching wearing his usual smile and calls out to him.

"Hyung! Did you find them? we are hungry"

"Not yet"

"Were you looking for us?" Beongyu appears from behind with a calm expression but Soobin was red on his ears and more quiet than usual trying hard to hide his eyes. Kai was going to say something, but seeing Yeonjun's face made him change his mind.

At night for hissurprise, he didn't cry, he couldn't, also Huening Kai looked sadder than him,better not make it worse letting his emotions control them. In his mind, hishypocrite side thinks this is the best outcome, Soobin deserves someone betterlike Beomgyu seems to be, someone who can open up without fear... his bully sidehates himself for it, and lately is getting louder.