Can't take control of it [Yeonbin] [BL]

Chapter 06 we don't talk together (Alone)

A week passed and everything feels weird, everything was going so good and normal, like nothing happened, it felt fake.

They were having a quiet breakfast, too quiet and the leader had enough of that.

"Hey guys, if you want to ask me something just do it" Soobin smiled.

"Are you in a relationship?" Kai asked without shame.

"No"

"Do you have feelings for someone in this table?" Kai continued, and the others tried not to react.

"Yes, I already talk to that person and we are fine, I gave up, so nothing is gonna change"

"Ok"

Soobin smiled a little more relaxed and said, "Good, seriously guys, everything is ok, tomorrow starts our tour, so be sure to pack all your things"

"Yes! I miss to be in the stage"

"Waa I'm getting anxious"

"Already?" Beomgyu started to clean the table.

Yeonjun saw how everything was normal, that word hurts, he was smiling, how he should interpret that? the others were ok with it?

They arrived at the hotel and after eating, it was time to sort out the rooms. The results were: Beomgyu with Soobin, Kai with Taehyun and Yeonjun got a room all for himself.

The results made them laugh but at the end of the day Yeonjun couldn't get rid of the idea of those two being together in one room, even though he knew Soobin didn't has feelings for Beomgyu, there was that intrusive thought about what if he changed his mind, after all, he rejected Soobin, he was free. He hates it, it hurts, the last days being with himself was the worst, yes, he was glad to be alone in that room but that also meant more space to intrusive thoughts.

The schedule went well. Their performances were steady and their presence on the stage were improving. On the other side of the tour, they held silly activities and recorded some of them.

The first day, they play mafia in Hyuka and Taehyun's room; the second day, the maknaes recorded a live singing and playing games; and in the third day, Soobin and Beomgyu did a live together. In the morning, Soobin posted a selca with Bemgyu sleeping behind him, MOAs didn't fail to guess it was Soobin's bed. Yeonjun reminded himself that it wasn't a big deal, they'd done it before, they shared a lot of time together, they were comfortable with each other but it still hurt him.

The last night, they all made a live giving MOAs their thoughts about the tour.

Yeonjun thought he should be more mature and don't let his feelings interfere with his job and personal relations, he tried his best to accept what was happening and let that go. Funnily enough, it worked cause it made him feel hopeless, like there's nothing he can do to fix the situation where he was in, by embracing his inability to work the mess on his head out, he easily accepted it as a failure and stopped trying, or so he thought.

At 13:00 they were back home, on the dorms, it felt a little weird to be back, he doesn't know why it felt like he wasn't really there, he couldn't hear clearly what the others said, just the general idea, he nods, it seems they were talking about food, he heard the door shutting after two shadows were gone.

Suddenly, he was surprised by Soobin's face in front of his, really close, so he backed off.

"Sorry hyung, but you were having that expression"

"What expression?"

"I don't know, you were in deep thought but with a face of bad thoughts, maybe it was just my idea"

He quickly scanned the room and Soobin said, "Beomgyu and Kai went for food, Taehyun is in his room listening to music, he said he were going to take a nap, I have to wake him up later, I can do the same for you, if you need to sleep..."

"Soobin ah"

"Hm?"

Do you like Beomgyu now? What does that selca mean?

"Can we rest together? He asked and Soobin nods in agreement.

"You're the only one..."

"With whom you can do it"

"What? Did I say that aloud?

"Yes, come here hyung, don't overthink it" he took his long coat off and walked behind Yeonjun to cover him with it while dragging him backwards to the couch. Yeonjun panicked a little for the sudden action and Soobin laughed.

Both landed on the couch perfectly, Yeonjun end up between his legs and Soobin embraced him to made him feel comfortable, before falling asleep he felt a kiss on his head, he thought he was already sleeping. For once everything felt warm.

When the guys arrived with the food, they previously have decided to order, Beomgyu noticed Yeonjun sleeping under Soobin's coat and decided to ignore it while Kai smiled to himself. Soobin was preparing the table after waking Taehyun up, who was stepping out of his room with renewed energies.

Beomgyu told them to wash their hands and went silent seeing how Soobin was sitting on the ground beside the couch waking Yeonjun up in the most endearing way.

"Yeonjunie Hyung, we have food" he used a cute tone.

"Coming" he answered without opening his eyes.

Kai and Soobin found him cute and laughed a little.

After eating, everyone divided and went to do something different except Beomgyu and Soobin who decided to hang out together. Yeonjun was the only one who chose to stay in the dorm, he was listening to music trying to ignore what he was feeling and thinking. Without noticing, it was already dark outside, Taehyun and Huening Kai were already in their room. The entrance door opened and Yeonjun's body jumped up and tried to spy on who had come in, it was Soobin alone.

"Are you ok hyung?" he asked, concerned.

Yeonjun tried to look relaxed and Beomgyu appeared behind Soobin's back, "Hyung, I got the ice cream"

"Great, Yeonjun hyung, do you want to eat it with us?"

"Nah, I'm fine, you know I'm not good with sweets"

"Right"

He scolded and reminded himself why he let Soobin go and kill every stupid hope he could ever imagine; however, his body didn't receive the message and was gripping Soobin's wrist.

"Sorry Beomgyu, can you go ahead?" Beomgyu nodded and left them alone, Soobin turned around to face him.

"Call me crazy but I have the idea that you're not fine"

He released him and avoided his gaze, "Just go with him"

"Stop pushing me aside!" Yeonjun got startled by how Soobin had raised his voice a little.

"Sorry, I wish you can let me... erased those ideas of you not being worthy, I just want to ease those worries" he approached him slowly and move his hair to see his eyes, seeing how the one he loves looked so lost, without thinking, he embraced him. Yeonjun didn't reciprocate at first but when Soobin was going to took distance, he stopped him and hold him back.

"Soobin ah, do you still like me?"

"Yes... sorry"

"What should I do with you?"

"Date me"

Yeonjun laughed and backed away so he could take a better look of that red face.

"Are you better?"

"Yes, thank you" He released Soobin and backed off awkwardly.

"Well, I'm going"

"Soobin"

"Yes?"

"Enjoy your ice cream"

"Thanks, hyung, Iwill"