There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

The Point of No Return

As promised, Carlos bought a journal and started writing in it. When Logan came back, he begged to be able to sleep in bed with Carlos, which was not okay in Carlos’s mind so the first night back, Logan slept in the guest room with Lucy. When Lucy realized that Carlos wasn’t going to do anything drastic just yet, she left the second night. All Carlos spent his days doing was writing in that journal and leaving Logan more and more nervous. By the time the first week was gone, the two supposedly married men had started eating together and sleeping in the same bed. But Carlos cried himself to sleep every single night and absolutely would not let Logan touch him. Carlos would have nightmares and cry and scream in his sleep and still wouldn’t let Logan lay a finger on him. As more and more days went on, Logan started becoming just as depressed as his wolfy lover, almost as if the emotional pain was transferred over. That Saturday, Logan needed some cheering up so he invited Lucy for her second visit. By this time, the journal was nearing completion and Carlos’s late night terrors had gotten worse. As if on clockwork, he’d wake up from another bad dream at 2 in the morning screaming in pain. It felt like his heart was being literally torn from his chest and he’d cry the rest of the night feeling suicidal the entire time. Lucy came back that Monday to take Logan out shopping and try to calm him down but nothing seemed to work. Logan felt the guilt practically eating him alive while he watched Carlos cry and scream all night. Whether he was in the guest room or not, he was awaken by the screams at two am as well. Logan had bags under his eyes and was paler than ever because he refused to feed. He was weak and sad, vulnerable even. As time moved on, Carlos had finally finished his journal and to make things seem reasonable, they filed for divorce which was a nasty conference. By the time they got home that Wednesday, the argument was more heated than ever and Carlos had it planned. This was the last night they’d have together. By this time tomorrow, they’d both be dead.

The more they argued that night, the more Logan seemed to try to push Carlos over the edge.

“God what do you want from me? I told you I loved women still! But I did love you too! Carlos why are you doing this? Blaming everything on me? You started all the arguments!!” Logan shouted.

“I started all the arguments? REALLY!? I WOULDN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO ARGUE ABOUT IF YOU DIDN’T KEEP LEAVING ME AND CHEATING!”

“WELL I WOULDN’T HAVE TO LEAVE IF YOU DIDN’T KEEP ARGUING WITH ME!”

“STILL DOESN’T EXPLAIN THE CHEATING!!!!”

“SHUT UP CARLOS PLEASE!? JUST.”

And Logan took a chance, forcing Carlos against the wall and kissing him desperately, hoping that Carlos would give in and submit and they’d make love like they were newlyweds and never had anything to fight about. But he wasn’t so lucky. He had only fed as recently as the day before and didn’t feed much so he was pretty weak and Carlos powered out of the hold, slapping Logan across the room, shouting, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!!! YOU DON’T GET TO FUCK YOUR WAY OUTTA THIS ONE LOGAN! NOT THIS TIME!” and just like that, Carlos stormed away but not before hearing Logan mumble, “The sex was the only thing good about this relationship anyway…”

Carlos walked upstairs to his room and wrote one last thing.

He honestly thinks he can solve all our problems with sex? After everything he’s done to me he thinks this can be solved by a nice good fuck??? No. Not this time. There is no coming back from this and I can’t take anymore. He says the truth finally. Only good for sex… Only good for sex? Ha! Tonight is the absolute last night he get to disrespect me. By this time tomorrow, we’ll both be dead!

And then he wrote on the front, “Do Not Open My Journal unless you want to know the truth!”

Instead of sleeping and crying that night, he spent the entire time lost in his own head, stabbing himself repeatedly with a fully silver knife. Slowly poisoning himself. If he wasn’t stabbing himself then he was carving the perfect stake to kill his vampire husband with. He mumbled, “I deserve this. We deserve this. Together forever baby.” Over and over again. Carlos had finally gone mad. He belonged in a mental institution but he fooled everyone good. His plan was perfect. Pretend he was perfectly fine even though he had awful nightmares every night, write in your journal about all the bad things and why you’re gonna do it instead of speaking, play nice-ish with Lucy, file for divorce before finalizing/killing, and most importantly leave your will in the journal so that your kids are fine. Carlos was never the type to have a plan or know what he fully wanted. He wasn’t the type to stand up for himself or be brave when he knew he stood no chance. Carlos wasn’t even the smartest person in the world! But he had become a different person over the years. This was someone completely insane and laughing through the tears of pain. This was someone who had been pushed to the point of no return. This side of Carlos was dangerous…