Dear, Bambam...
I don't know why, but even to this day, It's so difficult for me to remember your nickname, let alone your full name, whatever it was. But that's alright, I remember you as my cute Thai boy.
You were the second person I'd dated that was younger than me. I remember you so clearly still.
The one thing I remember best was that you really knew how to dress up. Despite being younger than any of my previous partner, you showed them all up in style. Your combination of classy and casual never failed to please.
Your dorky smile remains my favorite thing about you. It was so contagious; I could never help smiling back in return.
You charmed me with your humor above all else. I don't think anyone else I've encountered in my life up to now had managed to make me laugh nearly as hard as you did. Even on days where I wanted to sulk and be angry at the world, you just would not let me.
Our first date was fun and crazy; not my usual style, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I hadn't even known there was a seasonal carnival that opens in this town if you hadn't taken me.
It's a close tie trying to pick a favorite between the spinning teacups and the house of mirrors; in the teacups I got to enjoy watching you display what has to be the happiest expression I've ever seen on anyone's face as we spun our teacup at a dizzying pace; in the house of mirrors I experienced endless laughter as you made a series of silly faces while body rolling in the body-morphing reflection.
I was exhausted by the end of the night and my rib cage aches from endless laughter, but I wasn't too mad at it because you gave me the experience of the funnest night of my life.
We walked back to your place that night since you stayed down the street from the carnival. I remember how you'd given me your jacket because I'd started to shiver from the chill that came with the lateness of the day. I even remember the delicious salty taste of the soft pretzel you'd bought me to snack on while we walked.
Everything with you was so comfortable. Being curled up against your side while we lounged on the sofa and watched cheesy movies on the television became a favorite pass time with you. It became repetitive though. You always kept things at a friendly casual level.
I vividly remember you pushing me away in a kiss to tell me that you saw me only as a friend and apologized if I took things differently.
It was a tough pill to swallow. It hurt that I wanted you so much and you didn't want me back.
We can't be friends, but oh how much I really do wish that we could have been more when there was still time.
Sincerely, Jinyoung
