. 𝚌 𝚑 𝚊 𝚗 𝚌 𝚎 𝚜 .

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[ 0 0 1 f i r s t d a y s . ]

first days, suck. new level. new classmates. new students. new teachers. new tasks. new subjects. new whole year to suffer. i generally hate it, but at the same time i love it. the urge to go to school and and see your friends once again, to know that given stress and hardships in life id have my friends with me always. reguardless the endless homeworks and projects, break time would always be happier and worth the long wait sitting in a boring class. i love it. missed it.

summer has been long i just cant wait to go to school again. im now in senior year, the very last and im free. i honestly have no plans for college exept to maybe perssure my dream of becoming a performer, its all i wanted.

but starting this year also scare me, not because its going to be the last and i really have to give my finest push, no. im scared cause this is high school, it maybe the last year but every year it gets harder and harder. i hate it.

im on may way to school, and thinking of it...well, i just remembered junior year. jung hoseok.

hoseok also known as jhope was a well known dancer and performer in school, hes very attractive and everyone crushes around him, well his whole friend group. and it turns out they're my batch mates and basically my friends too. but hoseok, it still hurts to think of him.

especially the fact that people think im now over him. nope. never have, not really sure if i can. at least not now... i mean we're fine. still friends and everything its just it stings, but i do miss that little crackhead. ooh i loved him.

it was last year, juniors when i realized my feelings for him. we were already close friends when i felt it, and knowing him he would understand and respect my feelings, so i confessed. he said it was fine and it was nothing to worry about as long as it wont affect the friendship, but it did. a few months later he confessed to macy. macy was my friend, one of my closests to be honest, she was also part of me and hoseok's friend group along with chaelin, she was a kind friend, very sweet and jolly, has a very nice voice too. hoseok did like her, loved her even. after awhile she also confessed to him, at first it was fine all of us, but then the couple became awkward and problamatic, so we helped them out, worked pretty well every time. until hoseok asked me "you dont like me anymore, right" i dont know what got into him to ask especially that my feelings were fairly obvious and most probablly everyone could tell i liked him, "yah! of course i am, i dont even know why i liked you". i did it for the best, he was already thinking im over him right? so why bother keep it, anyways he has macy now. so i kept it that way, no one knew, and ever since that i've always claimed i am over him. i mostly did it for macy, since of course they were together and they're both my friends. i also did it to make things easier for me. i just faked it, until i cant feel it anymore even though i know deep down, its still there.

few months later while having a walk around the school campus my best friend chaelin noticed and asked me, "you still have feelings for hoseok, dont you?" im not suprised though, she knows me best. "wtf chae, im over" i answered, knowing she knows im lying "bitch i've known yo-" "fine! im not yet over, dont tell him please...especially macy" i answered worriedly knowing im in great trouble. "ill tell him" she teased, this bitch "don'tttt!!" i protested "tell him or ill tell him" "i will tell him! just not now. im not yet ready" i said honestly "ok...but all this time you still...liked him??" she awkwardly asked, i didnt respond just rolled my eyes, answers were pretty clear.

and yes i told hoseok, well chaelin did cause i just couldnt. hoseok didnt give a fuck, he just laughed and teased me for still having a crush on him, and again he said it was fine. til the next day, all four of us were together for break and hoseok and i were joking around being clingy and everything then macy muttered out of nowhere "sunnie your so clingy" then whispered a "such a flirt" along with a hint of anger, most probably thinking i didnt hear but wanted me to. well, i did. and it has been engraved in me since then. thats why i kept my distance ever since, i avoided him and god he noticed, begged me not to, so i didnt. but turns out macy knew i still liked hoseok not because of rumors, but because of hoseok himself. it was hard to explain what i felt, but it wasnt anything good. it was like having a wound and before that wound even healed, its was poured with salt.

we kept being friends and being in a friend group but either way each of us knew the tension between us especially me and macy. even chaelin knew it, and she was the only thing keeping us together.

*buzz buzz*

i noticed i got a notification so i checked it, macy

from macy:
hi sunnie!! mind going with me for the first day? im scared

to macy:
yea sure, on my way

to macy:
meet up where?

from macy:
im here, near the assembly area, ill wait for you. hurry uppp

bitch why not just ask your mighty boyfriend jeez...

from macy:
shit hoseok is here hurry up sunnieeee!!

to macy:
whats so bad about hoseok, hes ur fucking bf

from macy:
fuck ill explain later, just hurry the fuck uppp.

huh, what up with them now?!?

===//===

yasss lezgetit!! how bout that lil flashback back there?😉 ill have tons of flashbacks for now, shall we?

enjoy. peace😜

♡armyarmyyy